Philippians 4

So when will what you have be enough to be happy? Russ Lawson talks about the Sword of Damocles, Mr. Spock, the apostle Paul and about being satisfied with life.

What difference does a distant aunt really make? An aunt doesn't appear on the surface to make that much difference, but when you look a little more closely, she can make a world of difference.

"I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or..."

"Dear Father, victorious deliverer, May I be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own, based on rule-keeping but that which is through trust..."

Why is it so hard to let folks minister to us? So often, ministers and pastors won't let others minister to them, but we need to minister and be ministered to, we need to bless and be vulnerable so we can be blessed.

"Dear Father, forbearing God, Let me rejoice in the Lord always! Again I ask this from you: Let me rejoice always! Let me be gentle, open to reason,....."

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again — rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming..."

We could all use these words of peace! Max Lucado shares biblical insight on how to exchange our cares for God's calm in our lives.

When life crashes in on top of you, how do you dig out of your grief and loss? A special article about a man name Pranjees, the children he lost and the prayer he had answered.

Walking together means we give with thanks so no one walks alone. Ann Voskamp talks about eucharisteo and Compassion International and Haiti and child protection and question marks and learning to live with thanksgiving.

How do we hang onto God's promises when they seem too good to be true? Phil Ware shares his third in a series of 6 messages on the promise that the LORD is near; this time focusing on our doubts.

How can you not have your life blown apart by a brain tumor? An update on Jack Marcelain and his brain tumor recovery doesn't bring all good news, but Tammy is committed to not worry about it.

Caught between Thanksgiving and Christmas and in a life full of challenges and pains, what do we do? Brian McCutchen reminds us to trust God and learn that our current circumstances aren't forever and that God can lead us to a new place.

More than an absence of conflict, the Lord wants to give us life to the full! Phil Ware finishes his six-part series on Paul's promises to the Philippians that the Lord is always near and God and the peace he brings will be with them.

"Sovereign Lord of all things, dear Father, How aware I am of my mortality! All flesh is like grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the..."

"Sovereign Lord of all things, Abba, dear Father, I will not complain of want, for I have learned in whatever condition I am to be content. I know how..."

Why should I rejoice when things are not going well? Rubel Shelly reminds us that we've got to look past our own failures and low view of our own importance and learn to rejoice because we are each a child of the King.

How can you keep a good attitude at a time like this? Rubel Shelly shares with us the story of Beverly Sills and how she has kept a positive attitude through hardship and disappointment and reminds us that we can choose our state of mind.

In the midst of the holiday maelstrom, there's hope for peace In the maelstrom of emotion during this holiday season, let God surround you with his peace. Cast all of your worries on him and focus on the things that will truly bring you peace.

Some promises matter more because of when they are made! Phil Ware shares his second in a series focused on Jesus' promises to never leave us or forsake us.

How can we not be afraid in times like this? Russ Lawson reminds us that even during these troubling times that God is at work to take care of us.

Why take this risk? Stacy Voss shares the principle about thinking about the lovely things of God in your partner and not the bad things or the deficits.

"Dear Follower, How do you find the strength to go on when times are tough? That's a really important question because a lot of people will follow Me..."

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable...."

"Dear Father, praiseworthy God, Help me set my mind only on things that are true, that are noble, right, pure and lovely, things that are worthy of....."

"I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a..."

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed....."

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. "

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which..."

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s...."

"I know how to live in poverty or prosperity. No matter what the situation, I've learned the secret of how to live when I'm full or when I'm hungry,..."

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:6-7 -- Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart

Is living throwing you nothing but curve balls? Life is full of all sorts of problems and curve balls: how we handle them determins our real faith.

Can we really ever get over our losses? Loss of a dream, losing a loved one, is not fair and can often leave us confused and angry, so how do we cope with it, by turning it over to God and living for him.

"Dear Precious One, No matter what you are facing — right now or ever in the future — please know that I care about your struggles. I will..."

How a bunch of poor, but precious homeless people minister to their minister in Brazil. Dennis Downing writes about Church on the Streets and a special morning worship service when the minister receives the ministry of the people he came to serve.

Blues got you down? We all get a little blue or depressed; here are 10 suggestions to help us.

"Dear Precious One, The events that led to Paul's journey to Rome and his shipwreck and other problems along the way began in Jerusalem. Some Jews..."

The power of the oak is in the acorn! Phil Ware continues his series that the Lord is near focusing on the power of this promise found in the Lord's faithfulness, love, and grace.

We can offer no greater service than to love people and prepare their hearts to receive Jesus! ToGather.church worship segment for March 29, 2020, focused on John the Baptizer finding his purpose in preparing other people's hearts for Jesus.

Are you a one day a year person or an everyday person? Sarah Stirman reminds us that we have many reasons to give thanks, even when things are tough.

What are you asking Santa to bring you for Christmas? What we want and most need at Christmas are not the kinds of things that money can buy!

Even the hogs do better than we do? Phil Ware reminds us that prayer should always include Thanksgiving no matter our circumstance, something he learned from his dad and from hogs!

How do we keep people from robbing us of our joy in the Lord? Tom Norvell uses the song "Joy to the World" to remind us that we need to nurture and protect our joy in Jesus.

If we are not careful, the challenges of the moment can wilt the joy right out of our Thanksgiving. Phil Ware reminds us that no matter how difficult our circumstances, because of Jesus we have reason to give thanks!

Do you know peace in your life? Do you know peace in your life? Or, do you find your days filled with conflict? Are you often belligerent and contentious with those around you? Find real peace in Jesus.

So what are we supposed to do about such days as this? Phil Ware shares Scriptures pertaining to the IRS deadline for taxes and other issues related to money.

"Dear Father, Help me to stand firm in the Lord, not only for my own sake but because I am someone's joy and crown, the object of their love and..."

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed....."

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

"I can do everything through him [Christ] who gives me strength."

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

"To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen."

"To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen."

"The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen."

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice!"

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is..."

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or..."

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is..."

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

"There are many who know "how to be abased" who have not learned "how to abound." When they are set upon the top of a pinnacle their heads grow dizzy,...."

"These words show us that contentment is not a natural propensity of man. "Ill weeds grow apace." Covetousness, discontent, and murmuring are as..."

"Dear Father, victorious deliverer, Everything points to the fact that we live in the last days, so let me not waste time sleeping. Salvation is..."

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:23 --

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:23 -- The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:9 -- the God of peace be with you.

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:11 -- I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:19 -- And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

e-card of Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:5 -- Let your gentleness be evident to all.

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:8 -- Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

To our God and Father be Glory forever and ever. Amen. - Philippians 4:20

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:12 -- I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want

Whatever you have learned or recieved or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice. - Philippians 4:9

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:4 -- Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice!

Inspirational illustration of Philippians 4:8 -- Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

What such a dour and serious face? Rubel Shelly reminds us that being dour doesn't help any of us make disciples or friends.

In those times of restlessness and anxiety, where do we turn for relief? Tom Norvell reminds us to take our worries, our concerns, our troubles, and turn them into prayers and praises.

How do we keep the concerns from stealing our thanksgiving? Phil Ware talks about how to keep thanksgiving a part of our daily lives even though we face challenging times.

How are you handling the situation you currntly find yourself in? We can learn to give thanks and be content if we will reframe our current situation and see how many blessings we actually have.

We are not alone in longing to know that the presence of the Lord is with us! Phil Ware begins a series called the Lord is near and reminds us that the Lord is close and we have a right to long to know his presence is real and is near.

Would you still sing without your tree? A mockingbird reminds Bill about our need to find satisfaction in what we have.

You don't have to listen to the noise around you! Tom Norvell reminds us that we don't have to hear the messages and noise around us, we can follow Jesus' example and withdraw from the situation.

How do we keep our concerns for the future and our hardships from the last two years of Covid 19 from stealing the joy of our Thanksgiving? Phil Ware reminds us to keep thanksgiving a part of our daily lives even though we face challenging times, difficult circumstances, and discouraging realities.

You may not be Moses, but isn't God still God? Russ Lawson shares a story of remarkable faith and the line, I am not Moses, but God is still Jehovah.

What's the greatest answer to our prayers? Thanksgiving is the great blessing in prayer that we must always participate in.

Do those old passsages really have something to say today? Rubel Shelly reminds us about God's enfolding peace in the middle of life's worse storms and that this has been true for centuries.

We can't forget the one while we experience the other! Life is filled with its share of both good things and bad things, so we mustn't get so caught up in one that we forget the other!

Is this really a situation that demands a 911 call? Patrick Odum tells about a woman who didn't get her chicken McNuggets and called 911 three times to report it because she thought the situation was an emergency.

How can we live above it? Mike Barres reminds us that discouragements can leave an emotional residue and keep us from living as we should, but we can do some things to live as God would have us live!

Have you found your place of peace? Jesus promises us his peace if we will open our hearts to his contentment.

Do you have a long face? Bill Sherrill reminds us that the Christian life should be a life of joy.

He's making a list and checking it twice ... Rubel Shelly talks about living by lists and emphasizes the importance of moving things from your worry list to your prayer list.

Have you asked Him to help you with this important task? If God answers prayers, why don't we pray more frequently?

What bags are people carrying around for you? Katha Winther talks about free and not so free bags we all carry around.

Do you have the God who is there through everything? Bill Sherrill talks about God, who is there through all the tough and also gentle moments of our lives!

So where can you go to find beautiful things? Lisa Mikitarian shares some thoughts on motherhood and finding beauty and overcoming the nature of pop-culture.

As we examine the value of women to the work of God in the early church, we must examine the roles women actually performed at the request or with the blessing of the apostolic leaders. Phil Ware continues his series of reflections on the value given to women and their work in the Bible, with this week focusing on Paul's work in Macedonia.

Your Father is waiting to hear from you! Russ Lawson talks about talking with his kids and grandchildren on the phone and how precious it is to him and how God longs to hear from us in much the same way.

"Dear Child of the Father in Heaven, In My earthly ministry, I taught My disciples these essential truths:Some people store up treasures in their..."

When's the last time you waited on the Lord in prayer? Tom Norvell reminds us of the importance of praying honestly to God about all the challenging times in our lives.

Would you rather have peace or worry? If I can learn to turn my worries over to God, he will give me his peace, that divine peace that defies all logic. I decide to give my cares to God, I pray about them, and I thank him for handling them. In return, he gives me peace.

We want to be a people who sing to God out of hearts full of gratitude because of our riches in Christ Jesus! Demetrius Collins and Phil Ware lead us in online worship through words and music, using YouTube videos to lead us to sing with hearts full of gratitude for all that God has done for us in Jesus.

Can you sway without breaking or falling? Mike Barres reminds us that we need to be like trees: flexible, rooted, connected, and built on the rock.

You don’t need to be a fisherman to experience a perfect storm. Max Lucado reminds us about finding ourselves about being in a perfect storm and receiving God's perfect peace.

Where can I find the strength and comfort I need? Russ Lawson reminds us of the comfort that we can find in God and His word if we will trust and believe it.

So what occupies your thoughts and memories? Russ Lawson had his share of tough things and hard roads growing up, but he chooses NOT to dwell on those things, but the positive ones.

What keeps you up at night? We can overcome the anxiety that fear brings by giving all of our concerns to God. He will, in return, give us an incomprehensible peace.

In a society where parents are overwhelmed, overbooked, overworked, and overstressed, I can be a voice of gentleness! Tom Norvell reminds us that gentleness is essential in today's divided world because we know that Jesus is near.

No matter what life, Satan, or circumstances suggest, we will never be forsaken by our God! Phil Ware shares his message focused on Paul's promises that the Lord will always be near us, focusing on Jesus' promises to his early disciples and to us!

Will you believe that giving thanks is an effective stress reduction strategy even during the stress of Thanksgiving during a pandemic? Muriel Larson, an experienced online coach and counselor, shares this clear strategy to help us deal with the stress and pressure of the holidays found throughout the Scriptures: Give thanks!

As much as we don't want to admit it, we often miss the way of the upside down Messiah as badly as his first disciples. James Nored and Phil Ware remind us in word and video how upside down Jesus' values are to the way we often do things in our world and in our churches.

Hope is a powerful thing All of us need hope, and the only true hope is found in God, through Jesus Christ.

The Lord longs to be near us when we feel most alone, especially in our last journey through the valley of shadows. Phil Ware reminds us that in our darkest times the Lord, our good Shepherd, wants to be near us and make his presence known to us.

What do you have growing in your path? We need to keep our thought life free of weeds.

Are you looking beyond the ugliness of the age to find something more? Ron Rose challenges us to look beyond the ugliness and pettiness of the age and find real beauty and loveliness in our worlds.

Just how much can you bend with life's strong winds? Life brings storms that threaten to break us, but will we be flexible and look for God's other alternatives and opportunities?

What have you been thinking about lately? More than needing to think, we need to think about the right things!

God is great, so what are we going to do about it? Rubel Shelly reminds us to be thankful for even the most simple things, including our meal and the gift of food and fellowship over table.

Why is it so easy to find the negative? Max Lucado reminds us that we can all find something to complain about even in the best of circumstances, but we can focus on the good and see the work God is doing in us!

Why weren't these things mentioned? The whole news media ignored the biggest story of the hurricanes -- the overwhelming help, compassion, and generosity of people to help their neighbors.

Who influeces what others do? The greatest tone setter for ethics in the market place is the boss!

Are you ready to trust Jesus with your need? God longs to help supply us with our need, just as he did with the apostles trying to feed the 5000.

So it can't be done? How many times have we not done something the Lord wanted us to do because someone said it can't be done?

What really do we value? Mark Frost of interimministrypartners.com shares insights into transition times for churches who are looking for a minister or pastor and helps them discover ways to determine their core values.

Couldn't you take a couple of doses of this in your group? Phil Ware talks about the real source of authentic joy, the Holy Spirit.

What's the big deal with our worries? Bill Sherrill describes the problem with worry and how we often replace prayer with worry, but reminds us that peace isn't about circumstances or logic, but trust in God.

How are we going to define ourselves? Max Lucado reminds us that we shouldn't and we can't define who we are by what we have or don't have, but by our contentment in the Lord.

This seemingly innocuous transitional passage in the gospel of Luke is one of those hidden gems we often overlook! Phil Ware continues his reflections on his daily reading in the gospels, this time focused on Luke 8:1-3 and how this forgotten gem opens our eyes to the importance that women played in Jesus' ministry.

What can reach our hearts and call us to be like Jesus with power and emotion? Phil Ware continues his series on 'Ancient Wisdom, Today's Grace' and challenges us to follow Paul's example of using our songs to call us back to Jesus.

What do you do when you don't feel like you have anything to offer? Tom Norvell reminds us to listen to God when we feel like we have nothing to offer, and if we do, we will realize that is enough.

"Dear Friend, If you listened carefully to My servants, the prophets found in your Old Testament, you heard strong hints and amazing promises of grace..."

David concludes Psalm 19 with a prayer that his interior and exterior worlds align with the character of God and bring the LORD pleasure! Demetrius Collins and Phil Ware lead us in an online, virtual worship through words and music using YouTube videos to call us to align our internal feelings of love for God with our external daily lives that should be lived as our worship of God.

When does a little filth become too much? Russ Lawson challenges us to look at the way filth and dirt get into our lives and contaminate them and challenges us to pursue holiness and purity.

How remarkable that Jesus felt such fear. But how kind that he told us about it. Max Lucado reminds us that Jesus made all sorts of faces as he lived life much as we do, and because he has been where we are, even in the darkest of times, we can turn to him and find grace to help us in our times of need.

Our prayers often treat God as if he is the free Amazon delivery service for our every whim and want. Phil Ware with Andy Johnson remind us that our prayer is for the bread we need today, not the extravagance we want for ourselves.

As much as we don't want to admit it, we often miss the way of the upside down Messiah as badly as his first disciples. James Nored and Phil Ware remind us in word and video how upside down Jesus' values are to the way we often do things in our world and in our churches.

Do you really want to fill your sponge with grey water? Teresa Bell Kindred compares seeing Fifty Shades of Grey to a dirty mop bucket and a sponge.

Yes Dad, I trust you? Brian McCutchen reminds us that life is full of surprises and many of them unwanted, but in the middle of the surprises is Yahweh-Jirah, the God who provides for us.

How do we have an infectious love of people and life that it changes us and those around us? Brian McCutchen reminds us of the joyous and infectious virtues of a heart gladly surrendered to Jesus, like Michelle's.

Are we looking in the right places to find happiness for ourselves? Teresa Bell Kindred reminds us that what we define as happiness is nearly always temporary pleasure that is soon gone and leaves us unhappy; happiness is really on our own shoulders.

Can I really know Jesus as someone who is real in my life? Phil Ware writes a two part series on Finding Jesus at Christmas and this one focuses on spending time with Jesus in the Gospels.

Can you give thanks? Cary reminds singles that they can give thanks in almost any situation.

So how do we obey these hard commands to not worry? Rubel Shelly reminds us that trust in God to act is not passive, but an active life that does what is required, trusting that our difficulties and challenges are problems for God to solve.

Have you found it yet? I haven't learned to be content because I'm always wishing for more, but I'm trying and haven't stopped!

What can we learn from a puppy in the snow? I'm convinced that God must know how to smile -- maybe even laugh right out loud. I think that's one of the reasons he gave us puppies.

Are you living by candlelight rather than God's power and light? An electrical outage doesn't last as long as folks thought and they learn a lesson about turning on the power.

How happy are you? Contmentment can be learned and with it comes lasting happiness.

Is your storehouse of anger doing you any good? Are you happier? Better? More fun to be with? Max Lucado helps us deal with the hurts of the heart that lead to bitterness, anger, and depression, as we are provoked and frustrated into sullen and negative states of spirit and emotion and mind.

Look! A monster! It's hard for us to see things in the proper perspective, which is why we need to give all of our worries to God.

When can a horrible tragedy proved to be a time of rejoicing? Some of life's worst tragedies become an occasion where God's mercy is shown.

If you can't be passionate about it, how important is it anyway? Phil Ware continues his series where he shares his dad's values with his adult children, and this one is on living with passion.

How can we deepen, strengthen, and become more aware of our Lord's constant and loving presence? Phil Ware reminds us of the Lord's nearness, four ways we can experience that nearness, but most importantly, he reminds us to seek the Lord's presence in our lives, always.

Life is full of ups and downs, but God goes with us through it all! Bill Sherrill reminds us that life is full of ups and downs, good things and bad, so we need to find the good and not the bad.

What do you need to bury in your life? Ann Voskamp shares about a recent burial she was happy to attend, and in the process, put the world back into its upright position.

You can have a secure future. In a world that is facing an uncertain future, Christians know that Jesus is the one certain thing we can count on.

We have a huge impact on our day by what we decide to choose! Max Lucado reminds us that our life is made by what we choose to do with our character and our heart.

Who could be bored driving in beautiful Florida? Because of Jesus, we can learn to be content without being dependent on external circumstances.

Becoming a great rabbi was the highest goal possible, and just to be a disciple of a famous rabbi was an honor. Dr. Lois Tverberg shares great insights on the meaning of discipleship and a disciple based on their meaning in Jesus' Jewish culture.

There are a million little moments that really matter, and you DO have what it takes to give. Melissa Troyer shares her heart about the strength, faith, and love that it takes to get through hard things and hard times together.

Where are we going to get trained leaders for our church's future? Phil Ware reminds us of Jesus' practice in preparing his disciples for ministry and leadership.

So we are supposed to sing a song to get us on the same page? Phil Ware of www.interimministrypartners.com continues his series on inviting Jesus back to church with us and asks us to use Jesus to evaluate everything we do based on Jesus' example and teaching and use Paul's Christ hymn as our Jesus filter.

Paul could not have made the importance of Phoebe's previous work in Cenchrae and her future work with the church in Rome more clear. Phil Ware continues his series of reflections on the importance of women in the Bible, the ministry of Jesus, and the early church.

What happens the other 51 weeks of the year? Phil Ware begins a 4 part November series on giving thanks just in time for the Thanksgiving season.

Whose heart are you blessing these days? Jane Vincenzi shares some insight in the old southern phrase bless your heart and realizes that it is really what our Christian life is all about.

What can we learn from the storm of the decade? A horrible storm in the United States Pacific Northwest helps slow things down enough for folks to remember some key truths from God.

Who helps you with what you think? We need to guard what we think in our minds and ask God to keep them pure.

Can you remember who helped you the most? Let's focus on the people who have been a blessing, a strength, an encouragement, and not on the baser side of things: let's honor our leaders and mentors.

Doing the same thing the same way often means the same results! We can and must learn from our mistakes!

How content are you in a bad traffic situation? We learn contentment by learning to be at peace with others.

How do you solve the unsolvable and not remain anxious? Rob Woodfin ponders the imponderable and seeks answers to our greatest question, how do I not let anxiety control me, and reminds us of God's grace.

We can do great ministry in the name of Jesus and can survive all the tough challenges in life because our LORD is always close to us! Demetrius Collins and Phil Ware lead us in a virtual, DIY, worship through words and music using YouTube videos to call us to recognize God's promise to be close to the broken-hearted and crushed, lonely and abandoned, discarded and forgotten.

"Dear Servant of God, Families, churches, groups, and communities are all systems of people. These systems are built upon flawed people and broken..."

So what's the big problem with all this self stuff? When we put self in the middle of everything, then everything becomes about I, me, my, and mine, and not about God and we mess up our self-absorbed lives.