My wife and I have been married thirty seven (37!) years today. We have two grown children who are married and we love being together with them and our grandchildren. Evidently this is an amazing accomplishment in our society. I hear neighbors, friends, and people we work with express their congratulations at what to most of them is a rare feat. Many of them have never known anyone who has been married that long. Some wonder what the secret is to a long marriage – especially one that is still full of love and joy. So I am going to share the secret of a long and happy marriage.

It is not what you think. This is the point where you expect me to give a glowing tribute to my wife Marsha. I am blessed by her and I did choose well when I asked her to marry me. But she is not the reason why our marriage is so good. And I know that I am not the reason. It is not because we have not had struggles, disappointments, crises, and trouble. In fact, there have been many times where we could have given up and quit on our marriage. In our society, we would have been just like so many other marriages that did not make it.

Jesus. He is the secret. He is how we survived tough times. He is why we have extended forgiveness to each other when one of us said or did hurtful things. He is why quitting was never an option. He is why our life together is full of joy, peace, hope, and purpose. I am not the most important person in my wife’s life. Jesus is. And she holds second place in my heart. We both chose Jesus long before we chose each other.

He is why we are so happy together and with our kids and grandkids. He is the reason both sets of our parents have been married for over sixty years each. He makes the difference in life, in marriage, in parenting, in work, and in every part of our lives.

He can make the difference for you too. He can give you joy, peace, hope, and purpose in your marriage, with your children, and in every aspect of your life. So if you do not know how to let Jesus into your marriage, and into your life, write me at Or check out our blog at

The secret to a long and happy marriage is Jesus.

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