For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I may win more. To the Jews I became as a Jew, so that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law though not being myself under the Law, so that I might win those who are under the Law ... To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some. I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it. (1 Corinthians 9 19-23)

“All they care about is getting things the way they want”
I am a selfish person in recovery. There are some things in life that I want just for me. I want things done my way and I want them done with the people I choose. It’s not that I don’t care about others; it’s that I know my way is best. Having an attitude like this has caused more splits and arguments than I can remember. It’s a good thing God came into my life; I don’t think I would have many friends today otherwise! God has taught me many things, but most of all I have learned to open my heart and see needs greater than my own. I realize that all my choices affect others; my life is not all about me.

As a church we struggle with selfishness too. I’ve visited many churches that like to have things done just for them. They have a set view on neighborhoods, worship, family life, politics, ... and all their decisions are based around promoting those specific goals. Just like me in my younger selfish days, these churches don’t have many friends. Outsiders look at the church and say, “All they care about is getting things the way they want,” and they’re right. As a believer in Christ I am constantly disciplining myself in order to become less concerned with ME. As a church we must learn to do the same.

So how do I open my heart to others without losing what’s important to me? That’s the question that every individual and church must answer for themselves. We must never be willing to sacrifice the things we believe in to gain popularity, but we must find a way to become all things to all men, so that we may by all means save some.

If you would like to talk about becoming less focused on yourself and more concerned with others, please visit our website or contact me at