Here is a collection of humorous headlines, some of which you may have seen before and some of which may be new to you:
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Red Tape Holds up New Bridges
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures (duh!)
- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
- Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
- Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
- Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
- Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
- If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while (duh again!)
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Lingerie Shipment Hijacked - Thief Gives Police The Slip
I don't always listen.
- Patient At Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
- Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
Then they brought to him [Jesus] one who was deaf and had an impediment in his speech, and they begged Him to put His hand on him ... Immediately his ears were opened, and the impediment of his tongue was loosed, and he spoke plainly. (Mark 7:32-35)
What a beautiful display of power and love. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to be deaf. What would I miss the most? The sound of the wind blowing through the trees? The words "I love you" spoken by a dear friend? The chirping of the birds at the break of dawn? Or the songs of praise lifted up to God's throne when Christians gather together?
While I can't imagine not being able to hear any of those beautiful sounds, I can say, with sadness, that I don't always listen to those things that I have the ability to hear. I don't always listen to the cries for help that come from those in need around me. I don't always listen to my children when they are anxious to share the events of the day. And I don't always listen to God as He speaks to me through his word.
Sometimes I am distracted. Sometimes there is other "noise" which makes it hard to listen. But sometimes I keep my hands firmly over my ears to avoid hearing.
With a need much like the deaf man in Mark 7, I come begging Jesus to "put his hand" on me and to open my ears that I may truly hear.