You and your spouse have been fighting for a long time and someone brings up the “D” word. It’s not the first time, but, this time is real. Your marriage, once composed of a household of two people in love, has now become a hostile ground where two roommates co-exist. You started living as one—but now you feel more alone than ever. You may be in shock; you may feel a twinge of relief. Deep down, you probably are scared. Is divorce the right decision?
The act of breaking a marriage contract may seem fairly easy, but it’s never easy, never painless. Have you and your spouse made real efforts to mend the marriage? If you have children together, you will never truly separate from your spouse. You still will have to make decisions together, problem-solve together, and probably even see each other. If nothing else, you’ll see your spouse alive in your child.
Can children get through divorce? I was once a possible child of divorce. My parents separated when I was a freshman at college, about 300 miles away from home. Was it easier for me, being older and at a distance? I doubt it. That period was one of the darkest, if not the darkest, of my life. There’s something about your parents not being together that crushes you. But my parent’s story is a success story. They went to counseling, worked on their marriage, and decided not to divorce and instead, renewed their vows. I can honestly say that their marriage from then on has been better than ever before.
I can’t guarantee, however, that by staying together you and your spouse will have better times ahead. I can tell you that miracles are possible. At one point, I gave up on my parents, but to my benefit, I was proven wrong! Don’t think anything is too big for God. You can’t control the decisions and actions of your spouse, but you can control your own. Meditate on the realities of divorce, and if you want a miracle, know that God is capable of making one and he can do it through you — if you seek him and let him soften your heart.
God bless you,
Courtney Loy
courtney@hopeforlife.org
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