My husband and I had a great sex life until he had a heart attack. Now he seems to have no interest. Does a heart attack do that? If he would just hug me or something — I don't have to have sex — just to let me know he still loves me, I think I would feel better. What is your advice?

Though the Bible speaks often of the brevity of life (Job 7:6-7; Job 9:25-26; Job 14:1; Psalm 78:39; Psalm 90:9; Psalm 103:15-16; and many others), most of us don't think of our own deaths until we face its possibility through disease, injury, age, or the death of someone similar to or loved by us. Thinking of our deaths may cause us to feel sadness or fear. It may lead us to consider the next life, whether there is one, and what it will be like (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18). For some it leads to a type of giving up, because life seems so frail.

Some heart attack survivors worry that sexual activity may induce another heart attack. The best way to work through that fear is medical and emotional counseling for both of you. What concerns me more is that he stopped signs of intimacy such as hugging. That may mean that he is depressed. Ask him to take an online "test" that measures the likelihood of depression. If he is, he needs medication until he overcomes this. A doctor should evaluate that.

Don't allow his distance to make you distant as well.

In the meantime, gently show him affection in a nonsexual way. Hug him often. Snuggle next to him on the sofa. Cuddle as you sleep. Sometimes just hold him (Song 2:6). Remind him occasionally of the things you find wonderful about him (Song 5:10-16). Don't allow his distance to make you distant as well. Give him the gentle reassurance that comes only from a loving spouse.

Have Bible reading time together. Choose passages that speak of God's Spirit, the abundant life (John 10:10), and glory to come (1 Corinthians 15:35-58). Be sure to pray together every day, openly sharing your heart before God in the hearing of your mate. When he does the same, his emotional healing will come.

If you have a question about love and relationships, send them to me at ask@JoeBeam.com. I'll answer 1 or 2 questions each week, using my counselor's experience, academic research, and a deep respect for God's Word.
	And if your marriage is in trouble, we can help. Go to http://www.JoeBeam.com. Our success rate, even if one partner comes reluctantly, is three out of four marriages.
Take the Love Path Marriage Compatibility Test!	Find out more about the Love Path 911 "Save Your Marriage Seminar."

 

Print this Article Send it to a Friend Heartlight encourages you to share this material with others in church bulletins, personal emails and other non-commercial uses. Please see our Usage Guidelines for more information.	Our God-given Craving for Intimacy Prime Time for Intimacy Bridging the Distance ... of Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage Marriage Saver
	ALL of Heartlight        --- ARTICLES   A Taste of Home   Caring Touch   Diary of God   Hope for Life   Hope from the Hill Country   Just for Men   Just for Women   Leading in Hope   Love, Sex & Marriage   Making Life Work   Prayer for the Nation   Single...Not Alone   Special Features   Timely Truths   Together in His Grace   Two Minute Meditations        --- DEVOTIONALS   Charles Spurgeon   Daily Wisdom   My Utmost for His Highest   Praying with Paul   Quotemeal   Today's Verse   What Jesus Did

© 2009 Joe Beam.

Title: "Love Path 911: Heart Attack & Intimacy"
Author: Joe Beam
Publication Date: February 05, 2009

Next Door Savior by Max Lucado Master storyteller Lucado presents the stunning contrasts of Jesus--his irresistible humanity and undeniable deity.

Joe Beam has given much of life and ministry to reclaiming marriage and helping couples find holy intimacy with God and with each other. He willingly works with marriages most others have given up on saving. Email Joe

More Heartlight Feeds

Get Heartlight articles and devotionals by email FREE every day! Daily Heartlight Today's Verse What Jesus Did! Quotemeal

More Information