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|How can we combat this slow deterioration|
What are those little things that can drain the love bank, and destroy romantic love? Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., in his book Love Busters, outlines five categories of negative habits:
In the Sunday morning class I teach, we spent a month on just the first love buster. I would like to give you more detailed information on each of these after the first of the year. Dr. Harley has a great web site at called Marriage Builders where you can read more about them on your own.
Are you aware that you are making withdrawals and losing that close intimacy with each of these habits? What about the state of your mates love bank right now? Are you continuing to make deposits? Are you overdrawn? How do we overcome the habits that deplete our love account? What can we do to make new deposits in our partners love bank?
The opposites of love busters are love builders. Looking at the list above, Ive put together a list of what I believe are love builders:
In my column last month, I challenged readers to use November as Spouse Thanksgiving Month. Let me tell you what I found out from my challenge. After participating, I was blessed with a deeper appreciation for my wife. Almost every day I told her one thing I was thankful for that she did for our family and me. I found that this wasnt very hard, because she does so much for us. For all that she did for me; I wanted to return the favors by helping her more. It seemed to heighten my love as well as my appreciation for her. Have you ever written down or thought through all the things your spouse has done for you in just one day? Counting your blessings, literally, is another way to turn a positive focus on your companion and a good place to start in reversing the meltdown process.
Stopping bad habits will stop withdrawals from the love bank. Some habits could be making daily withdrawals from your marriage. But my challenge for you is this: What are you doing to make deposits in your marriage? What are you doing to invest in the emotional level that can be shared between both of you? I hope that Thomas Sowell, of Creators Syndicate, wont mind if I change his quote just a bit, for you. Since we are using the analogy of the love bank, I will conclude with another financial analogy: Politeness and consideration for your spouse is like investing pennies and getting dollars back. Based on your investments, how richly blessed is your marriage?
HEARTLIGHT(R) Magazine is a ministry of loving Christians and the Westover Hills church of Christ.
Edited by Phil Ware and Paul Lee.
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