HEARTLIGHTSingle... Not Alone







A “Season” of Singleness
by Cary Branscum

    “I’ll never get married. I’ll be single for the rest of my life.”

    I’ve often heard single Christians say something like that. Those feelings can be especially strong and painful during times like Valentines Day or class reunions and holidays. When someone states with certainty they will be single for rest of life, I congratulate them on being such successful fortunetellers! Folks, we can’t predict the future. We aren’t even sure about tomorrow. But you know, some folks DO remain single for life and not only do they survive, they thrive.

    Ecclesiastes 3 speaks of the times and transitions of life: “Unto everything there is a season.” As singles we must remember life itself is a brief season on earth. James says our life “appears for a little time and vanishes away.” It’s the truth! Because of this, we need to see our singleness as something that may last only a season.

    The problem is, we sometimes feel stuck in one season. We feel stuck in a job or a relationship or a place. Sometimes the person we thought was THE ONE for us decides we are not THE ONE for them. We don’t understand that life is a series of seasons. We feel out of control.

    Some folks feel “stuck” in the single life. We often idealize marriage as a desired state that others have. We focus on what we do NOT have, and as a result we feel left out or cheated. Here’s the real danger of this attitude— it robs us of the blessings, joys, and insights of our life journey as a single Christian. The real tragedy is that we miss out on our fictitious ideal marital vision AND we miss out on the blessings of our current season of life as singles.

    As Christians we can depend on our father to see us through all of life’s seasons. But what can we do or say to make our season of singleness better? How do we get “unstuck”? Here are some good ideas:

  1. 1 JOHN 3: 1 Know that you are God’s child, He loves you, and has moved heaven and earth to send Jesus to redeem you.
    We are the children of God NOW, not just after we die. As a child of God you have so many blessings to help you. You have God’s Spirit within you. How precious you are, single or married!
  2. JOSHUA 1: 9 Be strong and of good courage!
    Joshua, the great leader of the people of God challenges us today. Face life with your faith. Take off the victim coat and burn it. We feel stuck when we feel like a victim. We feel out of control, we begin to see ourselves as hopeless, luckless victims. Refuse this mindset by repeating over and over “WITH GOD’S HELP, I AM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.”
  3. JOSHUA 24: 15 Joshua again challenges us to “choose this day whom you shall serve.”. Use your power of choice.
    You have MORE CHOICES THAN YOU REALIZE. You can choose your actions. For instance, you don’t HAVE to have a job. You might say, “Sure I have to have a job, I have bills to pay, stuff I am responsible for”. That is correct. What I say to you is this, you are CHOOSING to go to work to avoid bad consequences. That’s different than HAVING to go to work, when you retain your power of choice, you are no longer a victim.
  4. ISAIAH 40: 6 All life is as the grass of the field.
    Accept the instability and transient nature of life. With God in our lives, we can weather all the storms and changes life throws our way. He is our rock, our sword, our shield. We can rest in Him, study His Word, pray, and grow deeper and stronger every day.

    Use this time, this season of singleness, to explore those arenas of life you’d miss if you were among the married masses (Whoops, I almost typed the married “messes”). Hear God’s Word as He speaks His Will to you. Be in prayer as you join your life with him. Face your life, feel your feelings, and enjoy this season of singleness.


HEARTLIGHT(R) Magazine is a ministry of loving Christians and the Westover Hills church of Christ.
Edited by Phil Ware and Paul Lee.
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Article copyright © 1999, Cary Branscum. Used by permission.
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