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Singles in a Rut?
by Cary Branscum

“Don’t let the world squeeze you into its mold, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...” Romans 12:2

    Is it easier for singles to “get in a rut”? Well, maybe, but many singles’ lives are so chaotic with instability, they truly yearn for a rut! But there are times when we actually do fall into a rut. So let’s define a few of our terms.

    We all need to do some routine things the same way over and over to save time. This allows us to put our minds on automatic pilot and think of other more important things. This is not a rut—it’s a productive habit. A rut occurs, however, when we do something the same way for no good reason. In fact, our rut is often deepest when we NEED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY for our own spiritual, physical, or emotional wellbeing.

Don’t let the world squeeze you into it’s mold.
    Where do these ruts come from? Ruts tend to come from habits we can’t break, destructive relationships we can’t forsake, and sins we can’t seem to eliminate. They come from good things that over time, have gone bad. We often notice our ruts when we’ve changed in some significant way, we find the old ways of we’ve been doing things just don’t work anymore and don’t “fit” who we are now, or we find ourselves suffocated by sameness and dislike our outcomes. Our jobs, our friendships, our dating relationships, our hair and clothing styles, the vehicle we drive, the books we read, even the websites we surf, all tend to make our rut deeper.

    So what do you do to get out this situation? Let me give me you a couple practical pointers to help get out of your rut:

  • Romans 12 challenges us to let God’s Word into our lives to transform us by renewing our mind. God’s Word is powerful, and if you devote just ten to fifteen minutes a day to letting the Bible speak to your heart and mind, God will work on you from the inside out and help you break out of your rut with new insight, understanding, and wisdom.

  • Don’t let the world squeeze you into it’s mold. HAVE A MISSION, PURPOSE, PLAN, DIRECTION, for your life. That way, you can, with God’s help, “just say no” to the world. In other words, be proactive about being who God wants you to be and not just reactive to the same old things in the same old way.

  • REINVENT YOURSELF from the inside out. God has given His Children the ability and power to recreate ourselves. We were made in His Image, and we can be more like him everyday. If the old person you are isn’t who you want to be, then begin thinking, portraying, and acting like the person you (and God) want you to be!

  • Change something outward as a signal or reminder of your new way of being. You may dress a little differently, try a different “look,” rearrange your furniture, listen to a different type of music, but use an outward symbol to remind you of a commitment to inward change. It’s perfectly okay for you to do this. This is YOUR life, YOU are the one living it. You know what? When it comes time to die, YOU will be the one doing the dying and facing God. So hey, praise God for life, and live it uniquely. You don’t have to be like everyone else. In fact, as a Christian and a child of God, you were not made to be like anyone else.

    Now just a word about good habits. Studying Scripture, going to God in heartfelt prayer, caring for yourself physically, making friends, and doing kind deeds for others are all good things. These do not fall into the category of a rut. If you do these things repeatedly and are bored, then vary the routine, but don’t stop the good you’re doing! Strive to use these good habits as stable anchor points in your life. With good habits, doing the right things in the right way, you can meet the chaotic instability of modern life with faithfulness and bless others. Just stay out of those destructive ruts!


HEARTLIGHT(R) Magazine is a ministry of loving Christians and the Westover Hills church of Christ.
Edited by Phil Ware and Paul Lee.
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Article copyright © 1998, Cary Branscum. Used by permission.
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