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John and Kathy had been married before as a matter of fact, they had both been in marriages to other spouses for over 11 years before they met. They were determined to make their marriage successful as they exchanged vows in May of 1984.
Kathy developed severe allergy problems that made it hard to breathe and live life in the ordinary ways. The medication prescribed caused sleeplessness which in turn led to depression (FYI many allergy and sinus medications can lead to depression, be sure an ask your physician about the side effects of these medicines).
John became frustrated with Kathys depression, and because he couldnt help her, his unresolved anger snowballed. While Kathy was depressed, she overspent and piled up debt. They entered a very destructive marriage cycle. In addition, there were the predictable blended family disagreements about the children from their previous marriages. The problems mounted until February 14, 1997. Kathy moved out while John was gone on business. Kathy was fearful of Johns anger.
During this time God, intervened into both of their lives. Because of the debt, Kathy had to take a second job. At that second job she found Christians who encouraged her. John searched for answers and help from mature Christians. He found a group of Christian men who met for breakfast in an accountability group. They shared their struggles and encouraged one another with direction from J.D., a mature Christian man whom I greatly respect. John also attended an amazing Wednesday night class at our church called Marriage Reconciliation. (I will write more about the Marriage Reconciliation class in next months column.)
|Unfortunately, many look for help when its just too late.|
In January of 1998, John called Kathy about income tax issues. Kathy was still resolved to the divorce, but this started a dialogue that continued for the next several months. On February 3, 1998, the divorce between John and Kathy was finalized. Eleven days later, Kathy went out on a date with John. Kathy said she just wanted to put an end to those bad years and the divorce did just that. More dates with John followed. Kathy agreed to go to a marriage seminar called HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS at our church. This is an interactive 8-week seminar for marriages, and Kathy said she shed a lot of tears. After the sixth week of the seminar, and much emotional healing, John and Kathy were remarried.
John and Kathy are now facilitators for the HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS program at our church. They work on the front lines of marriage reconciliation, and what an example! If you would like help with your marriage, they are offering their e-mail address. Contact John and Kathy email@example.com or William and Sharon (940) 427-2227.
John says without a network of Christian friends, and the protection from other relationships, his marriage would just be another statistic. The devil is looking for more statistics. God is longing for more stories like John and Kathys.
HEARTLIGHT(R) Magazine is a ministry of loving Christians and the Westover Hills church of Christ.
Edited by Phil Ware and Paul Lee.
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