It was our one-year anniversaryJune 30, 1985. Whew! A whole year of being married. And now the celebration. Just how would we commemorate this important milestone? A romantic dinner and a walk under the stars? A rosy bouquet or a box of Godiva Chocolates? Nope.
We packed a picnic lunch with tuna fish sandwiches and Diet Pepsi and drove to Pasadena up the coast of Santa Barbara, three or so hours away. It was Les idea.
Okay, I thought, this could be fun. Well have time to talk as we drive and we can eat our lunch on the beach. But Les, now in graduate school, had a different idea. He was one week into a stressful summer school course, taking Greek! So he brought along a taped lecture to listen to on our drive and a pack of flash cards to study for his next exam.
So much for romance, at least on that day. I shouldnt paint an incorrect picture; Les can be very romantic. On my birthday this year, for example, he took me to the swankiest restaurant in town and had prearranged with the maitre d to have a gift delivered to our table with my favorite dessert.
Still, in our home, romance can be a hit-or-miss endeavor. Of course, I do my part. Like the time I planned a weekend get-away as a surprise for Les. Thats when I learned he doesnt think surprises are very romantic! Or the time I thought he would enjoy going to a theater production instead of skiing with his friends. He didnt.
Well, if you dont already know, we havent discovered the secret to romance in marriage. Maybe that makes us romantically impaired. But we have discovered that a big part of cultivating romance is learning to accept and respect each other's differences. Why?
What is romantic to one person is not necessarily enjoyable to the other. For example, if Les has an unfinished task hanging over his head, I know to wait till he is done. Then he is fully present and ready to go out on the town. On the other hand, when I have a looming deadline over my head, Les knows I love to be surprised with a diversion. Weve learned to respect each others romantic differences.
What differences impede your romantic endeavors? Can you accept and respect those differences? What is more romantic than going on a journey with someone you thought you new and then finding he was full of mysteries you hadnt yet unraveled that take you down roads you haven't yet traveled? Let your journey be an adventure as you ask the Lord to help you find the hidden doors into your partners romantic heart.
FROM GODS WORD
When Paul wrote to the Roman's he said, Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you (15:7) I don't know if romance is what he had in mind, but it certainly applies to us, what about you?