“The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.”

    As sickly humorous as this quote is, there really isn’t much that is funny about a complainer, although a bunch of folks seem to have taken this sick “truism” to heart. If we’re not careful, this horrible and destructive habit can invade our homes and ruin our families. For example:

    You come in after a fantastic day at work. Your boss compliments you on the great job you have been doing, someone buys you lunch, you miss the traffic jam you normally find on the home.

    What usually happens on that kind of day when you open the door into your house? You are greeted by screaming children, griping neighbors, the evening news, chaos in the house, or a phone call from someone who is negative about everything. Everyone seems to be complaining. Nothing throws a “wet blanket” on an otherwise good day like someone, or everyone, complaining.

    One of the funniest movies about a complainer is Groundhog Day. It stars Bill Murray as a sarcastic weatherman who is obviously unhappy with his life. He is an habitual complainer. Although I don’t agree with all the morals in the movie, the ending has a great one. Bill Murray’s character has to keep living the same day over and over until he lives it right. Finally he realizes the secret to living Groundhog Day right is to become an habitual servant. When he goes out of his way to HELP others instead of complaining and being self-centered, he gets a new day to live. Boy, wouldn’t that be a fantastic lesson for some people we know!

    When you have children in the home the complaining can get bad. So let’s make a commitment to help our children not become complainers. Friends, trends, and television—especially commercials—only add fuel to their fire. How about two quick strategies to help us with our children, then we’ll look at some other things for us to do:

• First, have everyone in your family memorize Philippians 2:14,—“Do all things without grumbling or disputing.” Be sure to emphasize the words “all things.” When the complaint starts, have them quote of the verse before they start their complaint. Help them discern between discussing a legitimate problem and just plain on griping by listening and working through the issue trying to be faithful to Philippians 2:14.

• Second, make the person complaining tell every one else three things that they are grateful for—yes, this exercise even applies to Mom and Dad. Children are greatly blessed and often come to expect those blessings rather than being thankful for them. Like adults, most of children’s complaints dissolve up against the tremendous blessings they have.

    By the way, Morn and Dad, are you throwing sulfuric acid onto your marriage relationship? By that I mean complaining is just like acid; it corrodes joy, dissolves good attitudes, and eats away at intimacy. Spiritually, it is dangerous and deadly too. So let’s acknowledge that complaining isn’t just a children’s issue!

Complaining corrodes joy, dissolves good attitudes, and eats away at intimacy.

    The Old Testament book of Numbers could be entitled “The Complainer’s Chronicles.” The children of Israel grumbled against Moses, Aaron and God. They complained about manna, so God gave them quail to eat in the desert. Guess what? They began to complain about the quail too. But the complaining wasn’t a trivial matter, and God did not view it lightly. He had delivered them from Egypt and was providing for them daily. They were just plain ungrateful. Look around your house and home, what has God provided for you and your family? When was the last time you thanked God for your spouse, instead of complaining about what s/he didn’t provide, do, support, or affirm? When was the last time you thanked your spouse?

    Complaining is a symptom of more serious heart diseases that get progressively worse the more we complain. So what is the solution for our “adult” griping and complaining? Dennis and Barbara Rainey offer the four following answers to our dilemma.

Complaining is dangerous

Grumbling and complaining shows a loss of perspective, a failure to remember who is in control. God did not let the complainers see the Promised Land, only their children got to see it. I wonder how many of us God has declared “unusable” because of our poisoned hearts? Turn your heart outward and put your focus on someone that is fortuanate than yourself, then make the effort to help him or her. It is amazing how fast our hearts and our attitudes can refocus on what is really important when we help others overcome their problems.

Remember God knows what He is doing

Joseph who is tossed into a pit and sold by his brothers, sold into slavery, unjustly accused of fooling around with Potiphar’s wife, thrown into prison, and then forgotten by a friend he had helped. Yet Joseph is a great example of trusting God. Scripture does not record a single complaint that came from his lips! What an example Joseph’s trials are for us when we compare them to of our petty little problems!

Put away past complaints that may become bitterness

Bitterness has been researched and found to physically harm the human body. If you have a complaint against a brother, go to him in private and clean the slate—venting your frustration must be done at the right time, in the right place, with the right constructive attitude, but it must be done.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thess. 5:16-18)

This scripture is easy to quote, but it is hard to live. But we will all find it hard to complain. when we are always rejoicing and talking to the Lord about all the ways he has blessed us.

    When we are in our homes and with our families and we feel like complaining, let’s sit down and meditate on all that God has blessed us with and make a conscious effort to unleash the toxic and deadly sulfuric acid on the soul, by complaining.

RESOURCE: This excellent material on us complainers comes from the book Moments Together for Couples by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. You can find the daily devotions about this subject in the meditations for October 15 and 16.