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    Both the veteran couple and the newly married couple share their experiences. This is not a class, nor is it a therapy group. It is conversation with a purpose.

Sharing Your Story
    The veteran couple begins by introducing themselves. This introduction includes personal background, important people and events in each other’s life, and other “fun stuff” up until the time they met. Then, taking turns, each one tells the story of his or her marriage: dating to engagement, engagement to honeymoon, honeymoon to now.

Your Marriage Patterns—the way it is today
    Every marriage develops its own routines. What are yours? How do you do these things?

1. Meals
2. Greetings and good-byes
3. Morning routines
4. Evening routines
5. Weekend routines
6. Love-making
7. Prayer
8. Parties
9. Household chores
10. Shopping
11. A night out
12. Church

    Both the veteran couple and the newly married couple share their experiences.

Sharing expectations
    What do you think husbands and wives are supposed to get out of their marriage? What do you think husbands and wives are supposed to give to their marriage? What have you learned about marriage so far? What has been the biggest struggle? Tell about a couple you want to be like.

Getting and giving help
    Working alone, each person writes down five or six things he or she wants most to accomplish or experience within the next five years. Be specific. Spouses then see if they can guess what their partner wrote. They talk about each other’s list and what they can do to help each other reach those goals. Now, the newly married and veteran couple share their lists with each other. Expect the lists to be different.

    Remember, one of the most important and least recognized goals of marriage is to help each other grow closer to God.

    Both the veteran couple and the newly married couple share their experiences.

Gaining a new perspective
    As we move through life, we will face lots of changes. Our marriage is designed to help us adapt to the changes with durability. Our relationship has permanence. It is based on a covenant love, not on convenience, or weakness, or oppression. The promise is to love in spite of what happens; that’s what makes it what it’s supposed to be. Sociologically, marriage is a lifestyle and set of tasks within an institution. Psychologically, marriage is the interaction of personalities and needs within a public commitment. Spiritually, marriage is bringing out the best in each other on our way to heaven.

The vows we made
    Talk about the promises made during the wedding ceremony. What do you remember about that part of your wedding ceremony? Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would add to those promises?

A new perspective on our promises
    These are the promises of marriage. How do these promises affect your time, social life, career, goals, prayer life, daily routines, and spiritual growth?

• Dedication to a growing relationship
• Rejection of alternative relationships
• Submit to being shaped by each other
• Limitation of personal activities
• Staying involved and attached
• Allowing patience to grow
• Taking God seriously

    Both the veteran couple and the newly married couple share their experiences.

The basic principle of marriage

“Husbands and wives choose to dedicate their lives to loving each other as God has loved them, whether or not their spouse responds in kind. They choose to make this the foundation of their marriage whether they perceive it being reciprocated or welcomed. That’s what agape love is all about.” (Ron Rose)

    At what times is it difficult to live by that principle? When is the easiest? What helps? Suggest resources and experiences that have helped (Veteran couple share from their own experience).

Ten questions young couples want you to answer:

1. What was the most important preparation you received before marriage?
2. What is the biggest challenge you have faced in married life?
3. How has your spouse brought you closer to God?
4. What has been your greatest joy thus far?
5. What is the most important thing you do for your spouse?
6. Besides your spouse, who has helped your marriage the most?
7. What is the most unique thing about your marriage?
8. In what ways does your marriage differ from that of your parents?
9. What do you appreciate most about your sexual relationship?
10. What is the most important thing your spouse does for you?

Every church can develop mentor couples for newlyweds.