Recently, a woman with only one hand was selling lottery tickets on the sidewalk in my adopted city, Chiangmai, Thailand. Wanting my 3-year-old daughter, Erika, to learn compassion, I whispered to her, “See that woman. She only has one hand.”

    Before I knew what was happening, Erika ran up to her. As she began to feel the woman’s wrist-stub, she asked, “How come you only have one hand?”

    Speechless, I stood there debating if I should apologize for my daughter. Erika is young and didn’t know her familiarity and frankness was wrong. In my silence, the woman spoke first. Her words deeply saddened me. She began to explain how she was born this way because of her karma. She was punished for the evil she had done in a previous life. You see, in much of Thailand, they still view deformities, birth defects, and physically maiming injuries to be deserved—punishment for some private sin.

    Standing there speechless, my mind began racing to find some Christian response to her statement. Meanwhile, Erika continued making small talk. She touched and held the woman’s other twisted, deformed hand. All I managed to communicate before we departed was some insignificant small talk.

    As we walked away, I knew the woman had not felt my heart-felt compassion. On the other hand, Erika had not kept her compassion in her heart. She had expressed it through a loving touch and caring conversation. My little girl taught me the real lesson that day.

    Commenting on compassion, a close friend said, “I don’t know why I’m usually embarrassed when some of mine seeps out for view.” This quick-teared sister is usually the first to comfort those who are hurting. By sharing hears tears and hugs with others in their moments of sorrow and pain, she expresses compassion in a beautiful way. Such genuine expressions of love and concern often convey compassion more powerfully than words.

    Maybe you find it difficult to begin a compassionate conversation. Striving to find the perfect words often keeps us from saying or communicating anything. For strength at these times we need to claim the words of Jesus, “…do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” (Matt. 10:19-20) Along with the power of Jesus’ promise, remember the lesson of Erika: genuinely shared compassion, expressed in actions and kind words of concern, is always better than the most perfect speech that never gets said.

    I e-mailed the above story about Erika to several friends. The first response I received was from a friend who is currently going though a divorce. He said, “Compassion seems to be a rare commodity these days, except in children.” Wow, sounds like he really needs a hug and someone to compassionately listen.

    There are so many hurting people all around us. Just as Jesus “…had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless…” (Matt. 9:36), we need to see the world through the eyes of Jesus and freely give an encouraging word, our shared tears, or a loving touch—just like Erika and Jesus!