Come back here and be
nice to me!
Fighting Smart in Marriage
recently witnessed a married couple at a restaurant
raging against one another. As the husband ran out on
the sidewalk, his wife came after him yelling,
Come back here and be nice to me!
Their embarrassing public
scene is a painful illustration of what so many
couples struggle with. They dont fight fairly.
Goleman believes that its not the disagreements
that tear a marriage apart. Its how couples
discuss their differences. Often the fights become
destructive because couples fail to understand
If you want to learn to
fight fairly with your spouse, try the following
- Focus on actions of your spouse that upset
you. Avoid criticizing the person.
- Men...avoid sidestepping conflict. Let your
wife express her feelings and try to
understand her emotional pain.
- Women...when expressing complaints, be sure
to reassure your husband that you still love
Most importantly, keep
Jesus Christ in the center of your home. As
Colossians says, clothe yourselves with
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and
patience. Bear with each other and forgive...one
another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:12-13, NIV) Ask God
each day to help you fight fairly with your spouse.
In doing so, He will ultimately strengthen your bond
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Edited by Phil Ware
and Paul Lee.
May be reprinted and reused only for non-commercial purposes if
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