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by Elisabeth K. Corcoran
I did it again! I just cant seem to get this mothering thing down. Sara, my 4-year-old, was simply in my way as I was trying to walk across the kitchen this wasnt deliberate disobedience on her part, by any means. And I yelled at her. The feeling in the pit of my stomach when I do that just makes me sick.
Okay, so I had a few options right at that moment. Pretend I didnt just snap at her for no reason and move on with life.
Start beating myself up for being a lousy mother.
Or fix it.
Well, if I did the pretending game, then I would have taught my daughter a couple things. One, you can be mean to someone and not have to apologize for it. And I would have been basically saying to her that she wasnt a very important person. Neither of those lessons were ones I wanted to pass on.
I could have gone the guilt route. Heaping a weight on my shoulders that left me feeling unfit to mother Sara. Carrying around blame much longer than necessary and therefore turning my day into a waste of time.
I felt better almost instantly after taking care of it that way. Confess, repent, move on. The lesson I taught my daughter in that moment was that yes, mommy is human and will mess up a lot; however, it can be made right when you choose to, and you can be granted forgiveness and a clean slate.
And I was reminded that my daughter, and my God are very forgiving.
Author: Elisabeth K. Corcoran
Publication Date: June 6, 2003
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