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“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4 NIV

    Not so long ago, when someone didn’t like a starlet, they spread the gossip, “She slept her way to the top.” I guess today you’d have to say we’re sleeping our way to the bottom. In so many places, people claiming to be Christians have lost their moral voice because of sexual immorality. Divorce, infidelity, and sexually addictive behaviors rip apart our churches, our families, and our integrity with those outside grace.

“Run away from sexual sin. Every other sin people do is outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:18 NCV

    There are no quick fixes. I’m not advocating a new program, seminar, counseling technique or “how to fix it” fad. Instead, I would like to remind us of three basic truths about our sexual behavior to help us awaken to faithfulness.

“God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honor — not in lustful passion as the pagans do, in their ignorance of God and his ways.” 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5 NLB

    First, our private sexual lives are directly connected to all of our behavior. Deep down, we know we can’t segment our morality into public and private sectors, religious and non-religious categories (1 Corinthians 6:9-20; 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8). What we do with our bodies impacts on our minds, memory, and mates. It is very difficult to get rid of the residue of sexual sin. This residue (i.e., consequences, memory, and hurt people) lingers long after forgiveness is received and accepted.

“The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 NLB

    Second, let’s pursue fulfilling passionate relationships in our marriages. Let’s learn to fulfill and bless our partner sexually while finding joy in our physical relationship with them (1 Corinthians 7:1-5; Proverbs 5). Our body is not our own when we marry, but our partner’s. Adding excitement, affirmation, tenderness, fun, newness, intensity, and intimacy feeds a growing relationship and blesses both of us. Our children need to know what recent studies have confirmed: sex is better, more fulfilling, and more frequent between married Christian couples. We must find ways to tell and show our children that God gave us the gift of sexual intimacy and it’s especially great when it’s shared between a husband and wife pledged to each other for life.

“Be happy with the wife you married... you should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love” Proverbs 5:18-19 CEV

    Third, let’s give thanks for the gift of our partner. This should be done in front of our partner, our children, our friends, and our church. There is nothing more humbling than having a person you love stand up in front of a crowd and say, “I love you. I want to share my life, my body, my future, my dreams, my defeats, my successes, and my children with you.” That’s what we do at weddings, but why does it stop there? Love means so much more over time when you have a shared history, friendship, and faith. Actively giving thanks each day for our marriage partner helps us avoid the powerful and destructive lure of sexual temptation. It even reshapes the way we feel toward our partner and our marriage.

    None of this is new. It’s not intended to be. It’s just intended to rouse us from our slumber and remind us that unless we wake up, we’re going to find we’ve slept our way to the bottom and lost something irreplaceable in the process!

“It is now time for you to wake up from your sleep, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The ‘night’ is almost finished, and the ‘day’ is almost here. So we should stop doing thing that belong to darkness ... Let us live in a right way, like people who belong to the day. ... There should be no sexual sins of any kind... but clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ and forget about satisfying your sinful self.” Romans 13:11-14 NCV