Articles by Richard Ellis at Heartlight

Take the Hype out of the Holidays

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 00:00:00 -0600

Do you remember what Christmas was like when you were a kid? I'd hear the weatherman on TV track Santa's progress from the North Pole and telling me I needed to get to bed. I'd listen for the sound of reindeer's hooves on the roof. I spent days wondering what was in those brightly wrapped packages under the tree. The first one up on Christmas morning? It was me. Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year, but it can also be the most stressful, especially for your kids. Here are some suggestions to minimize their stress.

Routine
Keep your routine as much as possible. Everything about Christmas disrupts our routine. But routines are what makes kids feel safe and secure. You don't have to go to every holiday party. Avoid dragging the kids on all day shopping sprees in noisy and crowded malls. They'll get tired and cranky. If they do, you know they are feeling the stress too!

Nutrition
It's the season of sweets. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are when we indulge. Fast food family meals become more common because of all the extra tasks. Control their sugar intake. Serve healthy meals even if it takes more time.

Time Out
Take some time to rest. Turn off the TV with all the commercials specifically intended to get your kid hyped about what he's getting for Christmas. Go for a family walk or bike ride. Take a nap. Build a snowman. Rest.

Tradition
Focus on the true meaning of the holidays. Carry on religious rituals and family traditions or create some new ones. Emphasize the Christmas is about giving along with getting. Choose to help a less fortunate family and involve your kids in that process.

Budget
Set a limit on spending and stick to it. No child needs everything they want. Many families create unnecessary financial stress lasting for months because of the inability to say NO now. Purchases on credit will keep costing you long after the child becomes bored with that toy.

Communicate
Kids from single parent and step families need special attention. It is critical that the adults communicate about schedules, gifts, and holiday activities. It may not be easy to do, especially if hard feelings exist, but conflict between adults creates stress for the kids. Allow kids to express their feelings about disappointments related to the non-custodial parent. Realize that being separated from either parent is hard for children.

My expectations? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Just like the ones I used to know. When I was a kid.

A Decision Even the Supreme Court Cannot Overturn

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 00:00:00 -0500

He changed America. You may not know who he was or what the circumstances were behind his story, but the next time you hear the words, "You have a right to remain silent ..." you'll know the rest of the story.

His name was Ernesto Miranda. He was the kind of young man who had been in trouble for most of his life. He had been in and out of the juvenile courts in his home state of Arizona for more than a decade. He had a long record that included convictions for armed robbery, assault, burglary, and attempted rape. Police believed he was a predator. He was arrested on March 13, 1963, and charged with the theft of $8 from a Phoenix resident who worked in a bank. Police questioned him for two hours and bluffed Miranda, suggesting that a woman who had been assaulted 11 days earlier had picked him out of a line up. He signed a written confession, resulting in a sentence of 20 to 30 years for kidnapping and rape of the 18 year old mildly mentally retarded young woman.

His lawyers attempted to get the conviction overturned, arguing that Miranda had never been informed of his constitutional rights. The case went all the way to the Supreme Court, and in a 5 to 4 decision the court agreed, and the conviction was overturned on June 13, 1966. Miranda was eventually tried a second time, convicted of the crime, went to prison, and served almost 10 years in prison. He was paroled in December of 1972.

On January 31, 1976, Miranda got into a fight in a tavern in Phoenix over a $3 bet. He was stabbed to death after he went to the bathroom to get the blood off of his hands. Police arrested a suspect who chose to exercise his "Miranda rights" and was released. Ernesto Miranda was 34 years old.

When you think about it, in a weird and ironic sort of way, this story is not unlike the sacrifice of Christ. The courts convicted him unjustly. He died and those who killed him went free. He was convicted, yet those who were guilty went unpunished. There was blood on his hands from his own battle at the Cross. A spear pierced his side.

I'm not suggesting Miranda was a hero; quite the opposite. But the result of his tragic life was freedom for the man responsible for his death. And that's the connection, except that Jesus paid that price willingly. He paid it knowing that what we needed was mercy instead of justice. He chose to die so that we didn't have to. That's a decision that even the Supreme Court can't overturn.

But he was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us all. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. From prison and trial they led him away to his death. But who among the people realized that he was dying for their sins -- that he was suffering their punishment? He had done no wrong, and he never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man's grave. But it was the LORD's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD's plan will prosper in his hands. (Isaiah 53:5-10 NLT)

I Jumped Out of a Perfectly Good Plane

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 00:00:00 -0600

I expected to be afraid even though it was something I had chosen to do. I'd seen several others come down safely several times before me. I was still anxious. I had four hours to prepare emotionally. That didn't seem to help. I still expected to be afraid when the door of our Cessna 182 opened up and my jumpmaster instructed me to get out on the 12 inch square step of the airplane with more than ten thousand feet of air between me and the ground. I expected there would be the moment that I might just look at the pilot and say, "Let's go home!" instead of "Let's go!"

My experience was much different than I expected. I'm sure my adrenaline was pumping. Maybe I was thinking about having to explain to my friend why I chickened out. Maybe it was because this was something I had wanted to do for a long time. The door opened. This was the moment! 90 mile per hour wind caught my jumpsuit. We stepped out together, grabbed the strut coming from the wing, turned right and launched ourselves out of a perfectly good airplane.

I saw the ground flip, then saw sky, then the airplane as we fell away from it, then a dark blue sky, then the ground again before we got stable, belly down, in the air. We'd done a flip. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. It could have been my asthma. It could have been air rushing in my face at 140 mph. Maybe it was the thin air at altitude. My breath returned as we dropped. I grew calm. We fell for 45 seconds, doing spins in the air first left, then right, and then left again. This was fun! Suddenly, our chute opened. I got to control the parachute for much of the way down. The rest of the ride was surprisingly quiet, peaceful, and exhilarating all at the same time.

I'm not sure words can describe the experience, but I know that it wasn't unlike my relationship with Jesus. I was in unfamiliar territory. It helped knowing the jumpmaster had done it 1351 times before. His confidence eased my fear. During our freefall, I wasn't really aware of his presence. I couldn't feel him above me because of the wind and pressure, but then I noticed a very gentle movement of my arms from above that allowed us to spin. He was in control. He was always there, watching, and keeping me safe -- I was totally dependent on my jumpmaster. If something had happened to him, I could not have pulled the rip chord and I wouldn't be writing this. It was an exercise in faith. Faith in Jesus is much the same. He's been where we are going. Often we need to launch out into territory that at first doesn't seem natural or even rational. We may be terrified, but he's always there, keeping us safe. I hope you enjoy the ride.

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." (Luke 5:3-5)

Last Man to Surrender

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 00:00:00 -0600

Lt. Hiroo Onada was left on the Island of Lubang in the Philippines on Christmas Day, 1944. He was 22 years old. His standing orders were to "carry on the mission even if Japan surrenders." As Japan evacuated the island, Onada and three other Japanese soldiers remained behind. One of the four surrendered in 1950. Another was killed in a skirmish with local police in 1954. Another was killed in 1972.

Over the years, Lt. Onada lived off the land and raided the fields and gardens of the local citizens. He killed at least thirty nationals during his twenty-nine year personal war. He ignored the leaflets that were dropped and the command given over loudspeakers announcing that Japan and the United States had become allies. At one point, more than 13,000 men were used to try to locate him and convince him to surrender. The cost of that effort was more than half a million dollars. Finally, on March 10, 1974, after more than 29 years, he surrendered a rusty sword to his former superior officer who read a cease-fire order. He was the last man to surrender from World War II.

When you think about it, all of us have some battles that we fight. The battle of good vs. evil rages every day around us and in us. We want for good to win and for the evil in our world to lessen. We fight battles over time, priorities, and managing our own lives and families. Sometimes we battle those closest to us with weapons of angry words or unspoken resentments. For some, illness is the battle that consumes our lives. There are battles everywhere.

There are some fights we can't avoid. There are some that are worth fighting. Some aren't. The key for us is to recognize which is which. Do you need to surrender?

You've probably heard the old saying that you can "win the battle and lose the war." The prematurely aged 52-year-old Lt. Hiroo was quoted as saying, "Nothing pleasant happened in 29 years in the jungle." His battle cost him much more than we can imagine. One thing of which I'm confident, our war has already been won. Jesus made sure of that at Calvary and the empty tomb.

The sting of sin is death. The power of death is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:56-57)