Articles by Katha Winther at Heartlight

Paper or Plastic

winther1@cox.net (Katha Winther) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 00:00:00 -0600

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand (Philippians 4:4-5 NKJV).

"Do you want paper or plastic?"

Most of us have been asked this question. Several years ago, however, my son and I were in Paris at a small grocery store, buying some sandwich fixings. I noticed a very unusual thing to me -- the cashier placed a bag on the counter at the end of the conveyor belt. She stared at me and obviously wondered what I was doing, just standing there. I looked at her and wondered why it was taking so long for her to bag up my groceries. Then it occurred to me that the customer was supposed to bag up her or his own purchases.

Several months ago, the cashier at a nearby store asked if I would like to have a bag. I thought that this was a silly question since I needed to haul all of that stuff to the car and then drive home. She informed me that each bag would cost 5 cents, and she would be happy to add that amount to my bill. She reached under the counter and handed me two bags, while I again bagged my own items.

To be honest, I wasn't very happy to pay money for a bag that used to be free in that store. The more I thought about the audacity of them charging me for a bag, the more upset I became -- I decided to stop shopping there. A few weeks later, I changed my mind and went back, mentally prepared for the "bag discussion." That time it was different, I asked the cashier if the bag was going to cost extra money. She said "No!" ... as she looked at me very strangely.

At another store they sold red, reusable, bags for 50 cents. The clerk asked me if I'd like to buy one at that price, because in the near future they were going to start charging for their plastic bags. I bought one to have on hand, but haven't needed it thus far. It's a bit difficult for me to know in advance how many I am going to need for my various errands.

[All of this may seem very unusual for our international readers, since "free bags" are not an option in most countries, but it has all been part of our disposable US economy. Now, however, no one is quite sure what "bag discussion" is going to include when we go shopping these days.]

I hope that the bags -- whatever type the stores offer -- will remain free of charge to the customer in the future. Many of us are already carrying around a lot baggage we paid dearly for -- anxiety, depression, fear, frustration, guilt, heartache, and many other things. I can assure you that these bags don't come free of charge. When we are dealing with these "bags" we haul around, a friendly face, a warm greeting, a helping hand, and a "free bag" comes in handy!

You see, there's something to be said for customer service that includes genuine interest and kindness. Most of us enjoy shopping at places where people are friendly, upbeat, and smiling. Good customer service encourages us to return again and again.

I recently went to my favorite coffee place and went through the drive-through lane. She told me that they were out of coffee ... that someone had pushed a button and it would take an additional three minutes for it to be brewed. She politely asked me to drive into the parking lot and she would bring it out to me. She not only brought it out, but didn't charge me for it either, since I had been "inconvenienced." She also gave me a coupon for a free cup of coffee to have on my next visit. I have been back several times, because they were so cordial and kind to someone carrying around all her "bags" of stuff.

Isn't it nice to be greeted by a warm and friendly person? Yes, a little customer service goes a long way, especially in these belt-tightening, economic times. There's a clerk at the main post office in San Diego who knows my name. Every time, he greets me with "Hi Katha, how are you today?" I always say "You remembered my name!" A lady at the pharmacy also remembers my name, too. I have a little trouble remembering names, and it amazes me when people remember mine and seem to carry about the "bags" I carry.

Simple kindness and friendliness is excellent customer service. It makes people feel special. Some companies hire applicants who smile and look them in the eye. Countries hosting important international events will often hire cordial people. They want to make a good impression on their visitors, so they actually hire "professional smilers"! It's almost like they know we are all carrying these "bags" and want to help us out -- maybe even give us a free "bag" of joy to carry home with us.

So here's what I want you to do right now: smile! Your next assignment is to smile at people during the day and treat them as someone carrying around bags of heavy and expensive stuff, and help them lighten their load. See for yourself how much happier you'll feel, and notice that the "smiled upon" person will in turn smile at others -- it's contagious. It doesn't cost anything to smile. We'll bless others more than we can ever imagine and that's a good "free bag" of joy for us all to carry home!

Katha's small town upbringing in Sherman, Texas was slow paced, with loving parents, lots of down home cooking, and church attendance. Katha graduated from San Diego State University with a degree in English and continued graduate studies in English at Abilene Christian University. Katha was an editor at a publishing company and has done freelance for businesses as well as writing devotional articles for Power for Today. She and her husband have two grown children and a granddaughter. Katha enjoys reading, crocheting, yoga, and singing in groups and as a soloist.

Events and Emotions

winther1@cox.net (Katha Winther) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0500

We've all had hectic and trying times in our lives. Many of us have said, "What a bad day it was!" Have you ever had a particularly bad week, when everything went wrong? Can you think back over your life and remember an especially bad year? For me, 1985 and 1989 were two years that weren't very good. On the opposite end of the spectrum, we've had those magical and wonderful times that we've never wanted to end.

Life brings us a few ups and downs. Sometimes life's events come at us too fast to take it all in at once. Other times, the burdens seem to linger on and on. Have you ever experienced a week, or so, of mixed events, all charged with emotions?

The "things of life" have occurred far too fast for me recently. I've needed to buckle my "emotional seatbelt" in order to ride it out. On the heartbreaking end, my cousin's wife in Utah complained of headaches and went to the hospital. She died twenty-four hours later of brain cancer. No one knew that she was ill. It was a shock.

On a happier note, some family members traveled to Sherman, Texas, to celebrate my father's 100th birthday. The day before, he lead a song during the morning worship service -- "When We All Get to Heaven." I was so touched to see him lead that song. We had a wonderful reunion -- seeing so many of our friends from the congregation.

Many people sent cards to my father. The telephone rang off the hook all day. Several friends dropped by to visit. One of the friends who appeared on the doorstep was the minister who officiated at my wedding. My husband and I had our picture made with him. It was an awesome feeling to know that we were all together again within a few days of our 40th wedding anniversary. Our wedding had taken place in Sherman -- we live in San Diego -- and it was great to see him after all these years. Coincidentally, we saw the best man from our wedding at the church building.

Daddy's birthday dinner and party were low-key. He didn't want any fuss. I couldn't believe that my father had turned 100. I had never even attended a birthday gathering for a centenarian. My parents' picture was on the front page of the local newspaper with a nice article about his life -- see the links below.

Within a few days of that happy occasion, we had another sad one -- my father-in-law's memorial service. He was a good man. Among the pictures and flowers at the front of the church building, one unusual item stood out. It was a large candy bar: dark chocolate. Only a family member would have grasped the significance of the candy. He loved chocolate, and had us trained to give him dark chocolate for any gift-giving occasions. He had become diabetic in later years, and wasn't supposed to eat it. One of his grandsons broke off little pieces of the chocolate bar to share during our time of light refreshments after the service. I almost "lost it" when I ate that little piece of chocolate, and thought of "Fafa" -- his affectionate nick-name.

Today is our 40th wedding anniversary. We'll celebrate by going out to eat tonight -- just the two of us. Later on, when things settle down, we may take a belated anniversary trip somewhere. However, I've taken a real live trip down memory lane over the past few days -- that's sometimes the best kind of trip. Every year on our anniversary, my in-laws used to send flowers as their way of wishing us well. My mother-in-law called events like this "victories and milestones." We lost her two years ago, and the anniversary flowers stopped at that time. I almost expected flowers today, and then remembered that they weren't coming. However, I also remembered the joy of years past, when things were different. What a blessing!

If you're celebrating, sorrowing, or somewhere in-between, remember that God is with us always and loves us, no matter what. He is with us in the ever-changing seasons of life!

There is an appointed time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace (Ecclesiastes 3:1-10 NIV).

The Staying Power of Our Words

winther1@cox.net (Katha Winther) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 00:00:00 -0500

Do you remember things that people have said to you that have had an impact on you? Isn't it interesting what we can remember from conversations we had many years ago? We sometimes remember an especially nice compliment, or perhaps a criticism that we've hung onto for years, or even odd and strange things we've had said to us.

I once heard about a famous celebrity, who was rather egotistical -- can't remember his name, only his comment. He talked on and on about himself in glowing terms. He bragged about all of his fan mail. However, he once received an uncomplimentary piece of mail. He said that he had become so obsessed with that one piece of negative mail that he had forgotten about the hundreds of nice letters he had received.

I remember a question that my father asked me when I was younger: "What's a third, and a half of a third, of ten?" I tried in vain to figure it out. After giving up, he said that the correct answer was five. To this day, I still don't get it, but I remember the question.

Years ago at work, my boss made a comment that stayed with me. He said, "There are three important things in life: your family, your church, and your job -- in that order."

On another occasion, a fellow employee stated, "When you have a job, it doesn't matter where you went to college, and when you're in college, it doesn't matter where you went to high school." She was one of the company's most-successful sales representatives. She told me about a conversation that she had with the Vice-President of sales. He asked her to explain her phenomenal sales ability to him. He wanted to know if it was a special technique that she used.

She thoughtfully answered back, "I have no technique, I just do it." He told her that she had given the correct answer. In his opinion, any sales representative who had given him a technique wasn't very good, because it didn't come naturally.

Don't ask me why I remember that conversation -- or any of the others ones for that matter -- it just stuck with me. Our words have amazing staying power!

On a more personal level, I remember certain comments that people have made to me that were quite unexpected. I consider those remarks -- especially those that were complimentary and encouraging -- to be great blessings.

An elderly man recently called me long distance. He said that he had remembered the family and me from 1970 when he had lived in our area. He gave his name, but I unfortunately had no idea who he was. He mentioned a mutual friend and his recollection of something else unique about me. I was convinced that he did indeed know me, but I was embarrassed that I still didn't recall him. He realized that I probably didn't remember him at all, but he said that was okay. He emphasized that the purpose of his call was two-fold.

First, he wanted me to know that he had regularly been reading the articles that I had written for a certain publication and how much he appreciated my efforts. Of course I was elated that he had taken the time to contact me.

His other reason for calling was to tell me that he had cancer and was dying. He was in the process of telephoning several people to express his personal appreciation to them for touching his life. He was, in essence, calling people to say "goodbye." I barely knew what to say to this man -- someone I didn't know and yet had blessed me so deeply with his call. What an impact he had on me. After our conversation, I cried, but in a blessed way. Sometimes blessings come to us quite unexpectedly -- right out of the blue!

So what's the point of all of this? Well, that's really pretty simple.

First, let's appreciate our blessings and treasure them -- those that come to us, big and small, verbal and non-verbal. Let's not forget to thank those who blessed us with these treasures and let's share these same kinds of treasures with others.

Second, our words can sometimes stick with others for a very long time. Let's not just try to be cautious with our words, let's also be strategic in how we use them to bless others. Let's offer kind words that bring encouragement, comfort, and hope to others.

Of course, God told us these things many years ago through the words of His wise and devoted servants:

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11 NIV).

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:14 NIV).

Too Much Rain!

winther1@cox.net (Katha Winther) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:00:00 -0500

We've all heard the expressions: "when it rains, it pours" and "into everyone's life, a little rain must fall." Once, I told a friend about my various problems and asked, "What else is going to happen?" She told me that I should never say that. She explained that an acquaintance of hers had experienced a sequence of problems, and had asked the same question. Shortly thereafter, the woman's mother died. So, I won't be asking that question anymore!

Life is filled with both burdens and blessings, isn't it? Sometimes frustrations and mishaps come all at once.

This week, the plumber spent two hours at our house -- fixing a clog, a leak, a semi-stuck faucet, and a funny-sounding toilet. Last week, while running errands, I came home to find a surprise. Molly (one of our cats) had inadvertently knocked a stopper into the laundry room's washtub, while the washing machine ran a load of clothes. As a result, the washtub plugged up, over-filled, and flooded the litter box sitting underneath. What a mess!

We recently purchased airline tickets to Puerto Rico -- to join our son and his family. Our connecting flight was to have been in Dallas, but it was cancelled due to the heavy rain. Because it was near July 4th, we couldn't get another flight to suit our needs, and we had to cancel the whole trip. We then went to plan B, and drove to a lovely beach community for a weekend get-away. The bathroom sink was clogged in our hotel room, and there were no other rooms available. At check-out time, they tried to overcharge us for the room and also for a meal that we had not eaten.

My computer's e-mail went on the fritz and it was days before I discovered the problem. Something that I had shut off had turned itself back on again. My laptop computer developed a problem, too -- it wouldn't accept its password. Because of this, I couldn't get on the internet or check e-mail messages. I discovered one of my cats (Priscilla) had stepped on the keypad, and had caused the problem.

I was scheduled to sing somewhere and had reconfirmed two days prior to the event. When I arrived, the parking attendant told me that the singer had already arrived. As it turned out, the other singer had shown up on the wrong night ... probably a miscommunication.

Some of these occurrences were frustrating, disappointing and discouraging. However, in the grand scheme of things, they were pretty minor. Actually, they were pretty trivial when compared to the problems going on in our world today, including all of that flooding. A lot of rain has fallen into the lives of so many people -- literally and figuratively. When the rainy times and troubles come, let's remember and take comfort in these verses:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7 NIV).

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV).

We know these are pleasant sayings to simply hang on our walls, but they are reassuring messages of God's love because our Father showed His love and care by sending Jesus to share the rainy days and floods of our human lives. So take comfort from heaven's promises!

Forever Stamps?

winther1@cox.net (Katha Winther) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 00:00:00 -0500

A number of years ago, a colleague of mine complained about all of her bills. She had a stack of them, ready to be mailed. She then complained about the price of postage stamps, and having to lick them. She also made a point of telling me that even though the post office offered a variety of stamps, that she just used the plain, ordinary regular ones. She resented paying bills in the first place, and her creditors would be receiving her checks with those stamps. I thought that her ranting about this was a little silly, and gave her my opinion. From my perspective, as long as I was spending the money on a stamp, I might as well purchase a pretty, colorful, commemorative one. I didn't care who (i.e. creditor, friend) would be the recipient of my snail mail, but it would have a pretty stamp.

The stamps that I currently have are the "Love" stamps -- the ones with the Hershey's kiss, wrapped in silver foil. Perhaps the individual who receives something from me will be uplifted, amused, or get the urge for a little chocolate! I hope that the stamp will spread a little sunshine into someone's life.

Did you hear that the U.S. Post Office will once again be raising the price of a first class postage stamp? It's now 39 cents, but on May 14th, it will be 41 cents. We'll either have to purchase the higher priced ones, or get some of those 2 cent stamps to place with it. There's another stamp that's been issued – it's called the "Forever" stamp. Those stamps, with the Liberty Bell, will give customers a chance to lock in the price-- no matter how much the rates rise in the future. I wonder how many Americans will take advantage of that deal.

Forever is quite a concept to grasp, isn't it? It makes me think of eternity -- that will be a long time for us up there! Thinking along those lines, we belong to God. We have been bought with a "forever" price – with His blood. Let's live in a way that will bring glory to Him … a stamp of approval.

Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received by God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV).

Venting?

winther1@cox.net (Katha Winther) — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Sometimes we need to vent -- to let off a little steam when we're irritated, wounded, disappointed, or grief-stricken. Because many of us have never learned to properly vent these things, we can take our frustration a little too far and really "blow our stack." Some of us get a "bee in our bonnet" or get something "stuck in our craw." No matter what you call it, sooner or later, you are going to experience it.

You may, or may not, get that "blow your stack" feeling very often. However, our frustrations often feel much more bearable when someone is around to listen to our woes, offer a helpful suggestion and a lot of support, and let you do a little constructive venting. It's so nice when a good friend is available to give some emotional support while you release your frustrations more calmly so they don't blow up on someone at the wrong time and in the wrong way. We all need someone to lean on at times like this.

I recently watched the Travel Channel and was fascinated to see some footage of Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park. According to the park ranger, the Old Faithful geyser erupts every ninety-two minutes, with a temperature of 199 degrees Fahrenheit. That's impressive: a natural venting! Now if we could all find a nice and regular way to constructively vent off our anger, frustrations, hurts, and disappointments in a faithful way!

In the past two weeks, I have heard about many upsetting things happening to various people. Some have been relationship problems, pet illnesses, work-related problems, concerns over church matters, health problems, a rebellious child, and even broken appliances. Hopefully having someone to share these burdens with has helped these people vent and not carry these problems until they explode from the internal pressure.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes things go from bad to worse? Problems can accumulate and have a snowball effect. They can go on a downward spiral. Without a way to dissipate that internal pressure in a constructive way, the accumulated stress, the build up of the snowball, and the ever-increasing speed of a downward spiral can destroy many of us and those around us.

A few years ago, I did something really dumb. But first, keep in mind that it takes a lot to get me upset, and I don't lose my temper very often. However, I became very upset about a particular matter and decided that I would do something constructive with my anger. Unfortunately I had let that anger accumulate to a very explosive point.

While standing on the back patio, I decided to water the grass. Unfortunately I was so mad and distracted, that I accidentally slipped off the small step and landed in the soft grass in my back yard. In the process, I twisted my ankle as I landed and lay there in pain. As if this wasn't bad enough, the water hose (going full blast) spewed all over the yard -- watering me, too. While I was down and in pain, and getting wetter by the minute, the family dog jumped all over me. Since I was home alone, I had to hobble to the car and drive myself to the urgent care facility. Fortunately, my ankle wasn't broken, but the sprain gave me pain for a long time and I had to use crutches, at first, to aid my recovery. The really dumb thing was that I did all this to myself because I had let my anger build up -- this was my own fault. I don't even remember what I was so mad about. I learned a lesson that day about what can go wrong when I lose my "cool."

Frayed jeans, jackets, skirts, and other frayed apparel are the "in" thing, right now, and are considered very stylish. These frayed irregularities remind me that we all can sometimes get frayed nerves. Our spiritual lives can sometimes become frayed too. Emotionally, or spiritually speaking, you might be frayed, fuming, or feeling fabulous at the moment. However, sooner or later, you are going feel the pressure and pain of frustration, anger, disappointment, and grief. Rather than trying to ignore or mask these things, learn to vent them to a friend in the Lord who can help re-assure and encourage you in your walk with the Lord.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires (James 1:19-20 NIV).

Class of 1966

winther1@cox.net (Katha Winther) — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500

I've just returned from a visit to my hometown. It was a brief visit, but a good one. I enjoyed the time spent with the family and being on hand for my sister's forty-fifth birthday.

I also attended my fortieth high school reunion. It was hard to believe that so many years had passed. The event was well organized. We attended an informal mixer the first night.

As I walked inside the cultural center, a question popped into my head: "Who are all of these old people?" I thought that I was perhaps in the wrong place, with the wrong group. I saw people who were over-weight, gray-haired, and balding. I hardly recognized anyone! It was funny watching everyone read the nametags, so they could recognize who was there. Of course, I didn't think that my appearance had changed at all, but theirs had! Then reality hit -- they read my nametag too! Isn't that just like human nature?

We toured our old high school and walked through the building, up and down the halls. It was a déjà vu experience to be with that group -- forty years hence. That night, we attended a party at the municipal building and had our group picture made on the steps. There were over one hundred of us who shared that special time together.

We enjoyed catching up on old times. It was interesting to find out where they now lived -- some had stayed in Texas. Others had flown in from Arizona, Arkansas, California and Oregon. We discussed what they had been up to in their lives -- family, careers, those kinds of things. Former (or current) careers included teachers, counselors, artist, lab technician, minister, masseuse, miscellaneous office employees, and editor. Some had lost parents or were involved with their care. Others had their own health concerns. It was a time of sharing each other's joys and disappointments for a short time. Then, it was all over, and then we said our goodbyes. We didn't know when the next reunion might be or who would be there in the future. But, it was great while it lasted! I enjoyed a real trip down memory lane.

This time with my former classmates brought me to the stark realization that time passes and change occurs in this life. Change is a certainty that we must all accept -- like it or not. Some of us have a harder time accepting changes than others. I enjoy a few things in life that remain the same -- it gives me comfort, peace and offers a sense of security.

Our "trip" in this life might be steady, or bumpy; boring or adventurous; rut-like or impulsive. No matter what you may find on your life's journey, endeavor to stay on that steady, spiritual path of growth toward Jesus. One thing is certain: He never changes. He's the same -- yesterday, today and tomorrow, and throughout eternity (Hebrews 13:8).

A huge reunion awaits us up there -- a heavenly one. We've all been invited, so make your plans to attend!