Articles by Marsha Jordan at Heartlight

Help! I've Become My Mother

hugsandhope@gmail.com (Marsha Jordan) — Sun, 27 May 2007 00:00:00 -0500

I swore it would never happen, but it did. I noticed it one sweltering August afternoon in 2001. I opened my mouth and ... out came my mother's voice! I was saying all the things I'd long ago sworn never to repeat. I HAD BECOME MY MOTHER!

I really can't be blamed, though. Can I help it that I've lived long enough to acquire more wisdom than the average woman? And along with all that wisdom an irresistible urge has come to share it -- with everyone -- all the time!

I'm not surprised that I'm the wisest woman I know. Just think about it. I've experienced things that today's kids know about only through textbooks. I watched the Beatles' first performance on The Ed Sullivan Show. I owned one of the first hoola hoops -- though I don't recall ever mastering the use of it -- and it even fit around my waist back then. I learned to read with Dick and Jane and I nearly flunked third grade when "new math" was introduced. I watched Bonanza before it became reruns. I experienced the thrill of replacing our black and white television with color and the anxiety of seeing a brother leave for Viet Nam. I lived through the turmoil of the civil rights movement and witnessed the assassination of John Kennedy on television. I saw hippies putting flowers in their hair and protesting the war, females burning their bras for women's liberation, and black children entering white schools to end segregation. I'm a veritable walking encyclopedia and a living history book, for Pete's sake.

So why SHOULDN'T everyone listen to me? My brain is a storehouse of vast knowledge. Unfortunately, I'm the only one who realizes this, except for my dog, King Louie, who idolizes me.

Do you know how difficult it is to bite my tongue when I see so many unfortunate souls making the same mistakes I've made? The impulse to teach others what I've had to learn firsthand is as hard to resist as a super fudge chocolate swirl ice cream sundae with brownie bits and extra hot fudge.

No wonder I was voted Know-it-all of the year by Buttinskies Anonymous. But, alas, people don't seem as eager to learn as I am eager to teach them. In fact, have you noticed how people are not receptive at all to unsolicited advice?

After thousands of well-intentioned attempts to spread my wisdom to the masses, it occurred to me that when someone shares his or her problems, they're not asking for my advice. They need someone to listen as they vent and to acknowledge their pain as they share their hurt. They're not looking for someone to enumerate a detailed list of solutions. People don't care how much you know. They want to know how much you care.

So, here is a bit of advice from one of the world's wisest women: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Actually, I can't take credit for that bit of wisdom. It comes from the Bible (Romans 12:15 NKJV). This passage reminds me to just "be there" for others, rather than trying to solve their problems. A warm touch means more to a hurting person than a list of recommendations. My friends don't need a mother; they need a friend who listens while they talk, holds their hand when they're afraid, and hugs them when they cry.

Do you know someone who could use a friend and a hug today?

Author Marsha Jordan created the Hugs and Hope Ministry for Sick Children. Her inspirational essays are available in her new book, "Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter," which is illustrated by children battling for life.

Website: Hugs and Hopes

Little Acts of Love

hugsandhope@gmail.com (Marsha Jordan) — Sat, 05 May 2007 00:00:00 -0500

As I loaded dishes into the dishwasher, I sang along with the radio. My grandson looked up from the picture he was coloring and said, "Grandma, there's one thing about you that I don't like."

Anticipating what he was going to say, I asked, "What? That I sing all the time?"

"No," he answered, "It's not how much you sing, it's how BAD you sing."

Once again, I was reminded that God did not bless me with a good singing voice.

I used to wish that I were a wonderful singer, so I could entertain thousands of adoring fans packed into crowded stadiums. In reality, my singing can't even please one six year old.

I also used to wish I were a great orator. I've always envied people who could speak eloquently. I have trouble completing a sentence that can be understood by a preschooler.

I may not possess the talents I would have preferred to be born with, but I still have the ability to change the world ... and so do you!

Changing the world doesn't require wealth, talent, or a huge investment of time. Right now, you (yes you), with your current limitations and abilities, have tremendous power to impact others.

Don't believe me?

Have you ever had a day in which everything you touched went wrong? When you were at the end of your rope, did someone speak a kind word or help you out? Do you remember how it warmed your heart and perked up your spirit?

Small, loving acts make a profound difference. Everyone longs to feel noticed and appreciated. That's why it means so much when someone surprises us with a simple act of caring. It assures us that we matter.

Discouraged people are everywhere. They need you. Don't overlook opportunities to make a difference in someone's life. A smile, a note, or a phone call won't take much effort, but they can make someone's day. Not only will your kindness be appreciated by the recipient and rewarded by God, but it will enrich your own life too.

Many folks say, "I'm just one person. I can't make a difference." If you've ever been on the receiving end of a hug just when it's needed, you know one person's concern is powerful. Do you compare your contribution to a tiny drop of water in the huge ocean? Mother Theresa's view was that the ocean would be less without that one drop.

There could be no mountains, if not for the tiny grains of sand from which the mountains are made. Little things pack a big punch. Encouragement takes only a moment to give but it delivers an important message of love and concern to the recipient, and it could last a lifetime. Your empathy and time can lessen someone's load and make their life journey easier.

We may not speak like Billy Graham or sing like Frank Sinatra, but we each have our own unique talents that God wants us to use. Have you considered that you may be exactly what someone is praying for?

Open your heart. Show you care. Share a little love.

Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions (1 John 3:18 NLT)

Website: Hugs and Hopes

Making God Laugh

hugsandhope@gmail.com (Marsha Jordan) — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 00:00:00 -0500

One snowy morning, I left church with a simple "to do" list. It included "Go to church, go home, and relax with the family." Nowhere on the list was "fishtail around an icy curve, become airborne, flip my van, barely miss a telephone pole, puncture the gas tank, and crash upside down in a cow pasture." But that's just what I did.

My plans flew out the shattered windshield, as I peered out at the world upside down. (Does it turn your world upside down when things don't go as you'd planned?) Amid the odorous cow pies, I observed a herd of hefty Holsteins hot-footing it away from the accordion-shaped vehicle, which had sailed over the barbed wire fence.

This was not my idea of a fun afternoon. There I was, standing on my head, trying to pry open a door that was scrunched into the side of a hill. I smelled gas leaking into the van and I heard my knees knocking. As I pulled glass shards from my head, I envisioned this gas-filled time bomb exploding and blasting me heavenward like a circus clown from a canon. All I could do was tremble and pray. Once again, life had happened while I was making other plans.

While I did not fly to the moon, and my van did not explode, I was rescued by a passing motorist and whisked away in an ambulance to the Emergency Room. As is often the case, my plans changed in the blink of an eye.

When I think I've planned for all the details and I lay out the perfect blueprint for my life, here's what usually happens: The reality bird comes along and lays an ugly, giant egg in the middle of my agenda!

I've learned that, rather than falling into place, life will more likely fall to pieces. It's like an ice cream cone. I might think I have it licked; but then it drips all over me.

"But," I say to myself, "Life wasn't supposed to be this way!" I don't know about you, but I planned to stay healthy, wealthy, young, beautiful, married, happy, unwrinkled, stretch mark free, and flabless forever. (You can fill in your own blanks if those don't fit!)

Wait a minute! Am I looking at life from the viewpoint of what I want or from God's perspective of what is best?

Most people think God wants them to have an easy, comfortable life, getting what they want when they want it. While it's true that God enjoys giving good things to His children, they're often not physical things. He wants to provide invisible gifts, such as a closer relationship with Him.

God's ultimate goal is for me to become like Him. That doesn't happen when everything's rosy.

When my plans change, I tend to forget that God has a higher goal for me than just a life of ease. He wants to work on my heart and build my character. I believe God cares about my struggles and He hurts when I hurt, but what is most important to Him is developing in me faith, patience, goodness, and gentleness. In other words, God wants to make me like Jesus. Though He doesn't cause struggles and hardships, He uses them to accomplish His goals for my life.

The apostle Paul reminded us that "our citizenship is in heaven" (Philippians 3:20 NASB). We were created for a different life than this one on earth. This one is just a rehearsal designed to prepare us for the real thing.

When my plans don't succeed, I ask what God's plan might be. Could it be that He allowed a certain situation to redirect my focus? Could He be trying to get my tunnel vision off myself? Maybe He wants to lead me toward a closer relationship with Him.

Instead of telling God my plan and making Him laugh, maybe I should seek to know HIS plan and make Him smile.

Website: Hugs and Hopes

Don't Let the Wrapper Fool You!

hugsandhope@gmail.com (Marsha Jordan) — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Grocery shopping is hard work. With so many artificial additives in food, you have to scrutinize the gobbledygook on labels to be sure of what you're getting.

Have you ever bought something you thought was meat and then discovered upon closer inspection that it wasn't meat at all? What in the world is a byproduct, anyway? According to Webster's Dictionary, byproduct means an outgrowth, offshoot, or consequence of something else. What is an "outgrowth" or "consequence" of meat, and should we be eating it?

It's important to read labels on the backs of packages because what's on the front is often misleading. Unsuspecting parents buy so-called fruit snacks for their kids, thinking they are a nutritious alternative to junk food. In reality, many are 99 percent sugar with imitation fruit flavor and a bunch of chemicals thrown in which I can't even pronounce. Why not just give your kid a banana? Advertising for juice drinks is just as misleading. Mostly water and sugar, many of them aren't even close to being real juice from a real fruit.

The problem of confusing labels and deceiving wrappers extends beyond the grocery store. In life as well as on the pantry shelf, things wrapped in pretty packages often contain stuff that's not good for us and may even be dangerous. Likewise, what is good for our character sometimes doesn't look appealing at first glance.

For instance, God has wonderful gifts planned for us; but they often come "wrapped" in bad situations. Do you want to be strong and resilient, able to persevere and emerge victorious? These traits come from suffering through trials. Want to be patient? It's a result of waiting and waiting and trusting while you wait some more. We live in a world that focuses on instant gratification, so we are often so focused on the outside wrapping that we miss out on the gift inside.

Your desire is to be happy, but God's desire is for you to be holy. Yes, He wants to bless you, but the blessings He has in mind are things like strength and endurance. We often whine when these gifts come our way because we don't like the way they're wrapped.

When things seem hopeless to me and I can't imagine why God would allow a bad situation, I think about the day Jesus died. Imagine how his mother felt standing at the foot of the cross looking up at her dying son who had been tortured. She must have wondered how and why God would allow such a situation. Imagine how the disciples of Jesus felt when He was arrested and killed. They had hoped that He would become an earthly king. They must have been devastated and confused. Yet, we know that the death of Jesus was a wonderful thing because of what it meant for us. At the time that He was dying, however, it must have seemed like God had made a terrible mistake or didn't care what was happening.

Let's admit it. We don't know what God has mind -- at least in the short run of things. Things may look awful to us, but there may be a very good reason for them to be happening. It just hasn't become apparent yet.

Just as our children don't know what's best for them, we as God's children often don't understand what we need either. We're convinced that life should be easy and happy all the time, but our Father knows better.

Isaiah reminds us, "Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you ..." (Isaiah 30:18 NAS). If you look for God's gifts, you'll find them. But, don't be distracted by the outward appearance. Trust that God has a great gift for you inside that unattractive wrapper.

Website: Hugs and Hopes