Articles by Teresa Bell Kindred at Heartlight

Treadmill of Life

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0600

One of my New Year's resolutions is the same one I make every year: take better care of myself. In an effort to firm up the body parts that tend to be losing their elasticity, I joined a gym for women last January. At first I was attending regularly, at least three times a week, but then something happened and I missed one week, then two, then three. Well, you know how it goes

I talked to a friend of mine and mentioned my membership at the gym. She asked which gym and when I told her she replied, "I don't belong to that one, but I do belong to three others."

"Wow, I'm impressed," I said.

"Don't be. I don't go to any of them on a regular basis," she said.

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. I have really good intentions but those intentions don't get me very far," she said.

I did get back to the gym and went back to working out three times a week. Then I started having dental problems, lots of dental problems. What began as replacing a lost filling escalated to a root canal, and then several weeks later, an abscessed tooth. It took four hours and three people to remove that tooth. I took it home and slept with it under my pillow for a week, but the tooth fairy never came.

After that episode, I got back in the saddle again, or should I say back on the treadmill again, only to come down with a sinus infection. I recovered from that; then we decided to build a house, sold ours, and the packing up and moving process began.

During that chaos, I had a root canal followed by mysterious pain in my face and jaw for three weeks, and then another root canal. Because I couldn't identify exactly where the pain was coming from, we did the wrong tooth the first time. That's right -- two root canals in one month.

One of the walls at the gym is the Wall of Fame with pictures of members who have achieved their goals. I ran into the owner of the gym the other day and suggested she create a Wall of Shame next to it with my picture beneath it.

If my goal is to take better care of myself, shouldn't I include spiritual goals as well? Many of us want to get in better shape physically, but what about spiritually? Like my friend who joined three gyms, I'm afraid many of us have good intentions that don't carry us very far. We join a church and start out full of enthusiasm, only to find that the daily business of living distracts us from Bible study, attending services and prayer. Getting in shape physically takes time and effort and so does being a Christian.

So again this year, my New Year's resolution is to take better care of myself, physically and spiritually … and to take out more dental insurance!

Happy New Year, friends.

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord's work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless (1 Corinthians 15:58 NLT).

Teresa Bell Kindred is a lifelong Kentuckian, a former teacher, a wife, a mother, a freelance writer, and a frequent contributor to HEARTLIGHT. She is the author of the book The Knot at the End of Your Rope: 10 Ways to Hold On When You are Stressed Out. Learn more at her web site.

Website: TeresaKindred.com

Compassion at Christmas

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 00:00:00 -0600

Her name is Reina and she is 8 years old. She has long dark hair and big brown eyes. She lives in the mountainous region of Guatemala with her mother and grandmother. Her mother sells tortillas in an effort to support them.

I have never met Reina but we have corresponded with each other, with the help of a translator, since I became her sponsor four years ago through an organization called Compassion International.

In her letters, Reina tells me about her chickens and asks me to pray for her mother and her grandmother. She draws me pictures of her house and colors the sky blue with a yellow sun. I keep her letters and hand-drawn pictures in a special place and honor her request for prayer, and I always include Reina in those prayers as well.

If Reina beats the odds and finishes high school, she will probably not attend college. Only 2 percent of Guatemalans attend universities, and only half of those graduate. One of the highest paying jobs in her country is that of a factory worker, where she can earn about $126 per month.

I learned about Compassion International on Heartlight's Web site and decided to check it out. I saw Reina’s picture on the page of children waiting to be sponsored. I took one look at her little solemn face and fell in love. Within minutes, I was signed up as her sponsor.

For less than what it costs to fill up my gas tank, Reina receives medical care, food, encouragement, and support from a school sponsored by Compassion International.

The dictionary defines the word compassion as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”

There are thousands of children waiting for someone like you to help alleviate their suffering. “Somewhere children dance to the joyous music of life and elsewhere they only cling to existence. They are all ours,” says Laurie Kohl. Why not make a child dance this holiday season through a sponsorship?

Merry Christmas from the Kindred house to yours!

Website: TeresaKindred.com

Growing the Roots!

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 00:00:00 -0500

When our twin boys were about 7 years old, they planted some seeds beneath our deck. The ground was softer there and it was easier to dig than the sun-drenched back yard. I can still see their young faces as they ran inside the house and told me about the tree they were going to grow. After milk and cookies, they ran back outside.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Back outside to see our tree!" they answered.

They really believed it could happen that fast.

Not long ago, I heard about some seeds that reminded me of Grant and Russell's tree. If you plant the seed of a Chinese bamboo tree and care for it diligently every day for four years, nothing will happen. That's right ... nothing. Not even a sprout. But at some point during the fifth year it will begin to grow, and in just a few weeks it will be more than 80 feet tall.

I'm not a gardener. While I enjoy other people's gardens, it's simply not one of my passions. But I am passionate about children, and as a parent, grandparent, former teacher, and current school board member, I see that there are a lot of parallels between planting seeds, parenting, and education.

As parents and teachers, we plant the seeds of character and knowledge. Some of us are like Russell and Grant -- we expect results within minutes, but each child has an individual timeline for growth. If we expect them all to grow and learn at the same rate, we will become discouraged. Sometimes we have to water and wait, and wait some more. Sometimes that waiting period is hard and we start to wonder if what we say or do really matters.

As for the Chinese bamboo tree, it didn't really grow 80 feet in just a few weeks. It grew for five years and a few weeks. What parents, educators and Christians need to remember is that just because we don't see immediate results, it doesn't mean the tree isn't growing.

Plant the seeds, grow the roots, and eventually there will be a tree. Never, ever, give up.

Consider him [Jesus] who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart (Hebrews 12:3 TNIV).

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 15:5-6).

Website: TeresaKindred.com

The Last Goodbye

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 00:00:00 -0500

Seventeen years ago this week my mother died. I dreamed about her last night and woke up with her on my mind. In my dreams she is healthy and happy, but she wasn't when we said our last goodbye. It was just a little over a year from the time we heard the fateful word "cancer," until she died the next July. Without a doubt 1989 was the toughest year of my life.

Last week, a good friend of mine learned that her mother has cancer and that it has spread to several different organs. "I'm just afraid it's too late," she said to me. Within seconds my mind traveled back in time, reliving that last year and wishing I knew how to help her.

Yesterday while walking at the park and praying for my friend, I thought of some things I wanted her to know. I think of them as lessons I learned about cancer. I shared them with my friend and I hope they helped her a little. I'm sharing them with you too, just in case there are others going through similar experiences that might benefit from someone who has been there.

There is always hope. My husband's brother was diagnosed with a particularly deadly type of lung cancer over two years ago. His prognosis was not good. It's been a tough two years but so far he has surprised all his doctors and defied the odds. As long as there is life, there is hope.

Cherish every moment of every day you have together. Our whole family went to Disney World the month before my mother died. How in the world mom was able to get out of her wheelchair and climb through the Swiss Family Robinson tree house I will never know; but she did, and those memories are dear to my heart.

Kids are wonderful distractions and reminders of happiness. Our oldest child was 8, our daughter was 5 and our youngest son was three when my mother became ill. Even on the darkest days you can find joy in the sound of a child's laughter.

Take care of yourself. In the middle of the most stressful time of my life, I found that exercise made a big difference in how I felt and coped with things. At first I started walking just to get out of the house and get some fresh air; but I soon realized that brisk walking helped me physically and mentally, even if it was just for fifteen minutes a day.

Remember to lean on others. My sister-in-law became my best friend during mom's last year. She stood by my side every step of the way. She loved my mother as much as I did and I couldn't have asked for a better friend. My brother and my husband were helpful too, but they both had to work. Not a day went by that Kelly didn't come to sit with mom so that I could be with my children. The Bible reminds us that "a real friend sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). When a loved one is seriously ill, there are no greater comforts that God, prayer, and true friends.

Is there someone you know who is going through a year like the one I had in 1989? If so, be a friend to them. Encourage them in any way you can. Pray for them, as well as their loved one. Be a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

Website: TeresaKindred.com

Unplug!

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 00:00:00 -0500

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest" (Mark 6:31 TNIV).

I bought a postage stamp this morning. When I couldn't get it to stick to the envelope, I accused the lady of selling me a defective stamp. She took the stamp, wiped it off, peeled the adhesive paper, and stuck it on my letter. My face turned red. I had been licking a self-adhesive postage stamp!

I left the post office and went to the gas station. I got out of my van and scanned my card on the pump to get my three-cents-a-gallon discount. The scanner didn't read my card, so I tried again ... and again ... and again. I must have tried 10 times before I gave up and went for help. The man who works at the station left his cubicle and followed me to the pump. He took my card from me and looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face.

"This is from the exercise place up town. It won't pay for your fuel."

Feeling even more foolish, I went home to spend some quality time with my granddaughter. She wasn't in the best of moods, so to entertain her, I donned a headband with blue bunny ears that I had given her for Easter ... then I forgot to take it off. When the UPS man delivered a package, he looked at me like I had just stepped off a spaceship. Maybe I had!

I blame my antics on being distracted. Seems like I'm distracted a lot. Like most folks these days, I'm "plugged in" 24 hours a day. If one of my phones isn't ringing (I have three), then I have a permanent mental list of 20 things I need to do throughout the day. If I finish that list -- which I never do -- I have more items waiting to be tackled.

The only way I know to be less distracted is to unplug myself -- by turning off all the gadgets in my life and going somewhere where no one knows me and there aren't a million things I need to do. To put it simply ... I need a quiet place where I can be still and communicate with God.

Technology is great, but it's not necessary when it comes time to talk to God. We still talk to him through prayer any time. Truthfully, however, anything that rings, beeps, or vibrates to get my attention is distracting when I need to spend time with Him.

So unplug yourself and spend time in His presence. Be still and know that He is God! (Psalm 46:10)

Website: TeresaKindred.com

GPS?

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 00:00:00 -0500

About a year ago, we bought a van with a navigation system. My husband loves gadgets, and he immediately began experimenting with it to see what it could do. At first, I didn't like it. The Voice, as I came to call it, felt like an invisible backseat driver. Being told what to do grated on my nerves.

Then I took a new job that required travel. Before long, The Voice and I became fast friends. I went from being a total skeptic to a full-fledged believer. All I had to do was type in my destination, and its "infinite wisdom" guided me there. I stopped looking at maps and scoffed at my husband's verbal directions. "You don't have to tell me," I said with confidence. "The Voice will get me there!" And, it usually did, until ...

I was on my way to a meeting in an unfamiliar city and was running a little late. I came to a red light, stopped, and The Voice said, "Turn right at the next light." I sat there frozen, immobilized with indecision. The Voice said "Turn right," but the sign said, "Left only, one-way street." What should I do?

A car behind me blasted his horn. I couldn't sit there forever.

"You're wrong," I told The Voice. "I can't turn here." And I drove through the light.

"Make a U-turn if possible," The Voice ordered.

I obeyed, thinking that perhaps there had been a glitch in the program and this time I would receive different instructions. I didn't. The Voice again tried to get me to break the law and drive the wrong way down a one-way street.

"I told you I can't turn here!" I yelled.

My face flushed hot with embarrassment. I was arguing with a computerized voice. My mother always said I would argue with a fence post. I guess she was right about that, too.

Have you ever considered that the Bible is God's navigation system? I hadn't thought about it until I saw a sign in front of a church that said, "GPS -- God's Plan of Salvation." The more I thought about it, the more similarities I came up with -- but with one MAJOR exception. The Bible never gives us wrong directions. The more time we spend reading and studying it, the more clearly we understand the commands our Father has given us. With the Bible as my guide, I don't have to worry about driving the wrong way on a one way street. His voice can lead me through every storm, over the mountains, and through the valleys. His voice will even lead me home.

Lead me in the right path, O LORD,
or my enemies will conquer me.
Tell me clearly what to do,
and show me which way to turn. (Psalm 5:8 NLT)

Website: TeresaKindred.com

Beautiful Feet

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 00:00:00 -0500

The only feet I have ever admired are those that belong to babies or very young children. For the most part, I think adult feet are ugly. They have a right to be. Most of us, especially women, abuse them with shoes that don't fit correctly or have inadequate arch support. Many years ago, my husband worked in a shoe store and he says it always amazed him when some women would shove their feet into shoes that were obviously too small.

Not me. You won't catch me in uncomfortable shoes. Once, my mother bought me a pair of shoes to wear to a cousin's wedding. For some reason I don't remember now, I didn't try them on until the day of the wedding. They were too small and so painful that now, almost 20 years later, the only thing I can remember about the day my cousin said, "I do!" was how much my feet hurt.

Ugly feet are hereditary in my family. Once, when all the women on my father's side were together, we took off our shoes to show those who married into our family what their children's feet might look like. I could tell by the looks on their faces that they thought we were kidding. However, when we took off our shoes, there was no denying the similarity.

"How do they get that way?" they asked.

"Genetics," we all replied in unison.

"Admire your children's feet when they are babies because one day they may look like this," my aunt advised.

I remember my grandmother saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." But when it comes to feet, I didn't believe that anyone could possibly find my feet attractive. I am so self conscious about them that I never wear sandals, flip flops, or open-toed shoes. No sirreee. I want those ugly puppies covered up as much as possible.

Last week, I was reading my Bible and I came upon a verse that I didn't remember. Paul quotes the Old Testament when he says, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news" (Romans 10:15 NLT).

My mouth dropped open in amazement. The message was loud and clear. If I am a Christian and I am bringing the good news to others, I have beautiful feet! I slipped my shoes off and looked at the same twisted toes and huge bunions that I've looked at for the last several years. They definitely didn't look beautiful to me, but if God thinks they are beautiful ... I know they are.

When my brother was a little boy my mother looked at his hands one day and told him he had beautiful hands. "No they're not," he argued. "Oh yes they are," she replied gently. "The things they can do are beautiful."

And that's the way it is with feet. No matter what they look like, when they help us carry the message that Jesus Christ came to this earth and died for our sins, that He arose victorious from the grave, and that He's coming back for us one day, then our feet our beautiful indeed.

Website: TeresaKindred.com

Martha's List

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0600

Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me."
And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42)

Oh, to have a heart like Mary's! I know what is most important, but truthfully, a lot of the time I am more like Martha. I focus on what needs doing, rather than what really matters. I need to get the boys to school, the clothes washed, the house cleaned, etc., etc. You know what it's like. Women have lists a mile long and when we get all the things on our list done, we make another list or we make one for our husbands.

You can tell by reading about the two sisters that Martha was probably scurrying around the house, trying to get things ready for Jesus and her other guests. And you can almost hear her muttering under her breath, "I've got too much to do." I seriously doubt if there's a woman in the world who at one time or another hasn't felt frustrated by all the things on her "to do" list. The question we need to remember to ask ourselves when we are feeling stressed and hurried is, "Do I really have to do this now?" Often what we think we "have" to do is something that can wait.

Imagine you are walking on a tight rope -- not hard for most moms -- and you are high above the ground. You are carrying a pole to help you keep your balance. On one side of the pole is time alone with Jesus, on the other side is time with your "to do" list. Up ahead is your goal, your destination ... heaven ... or for mothers, we might say our heavenly rest. Are you maintaining your balance on the tight rope of life? Are you spending enough time studying His word and in prayer? Or is your pole tilted the other way, toward earthly matters?

The next time you feel stressed because you have too much to do, remember that we can't earn our ticket to heaven. It's already been paid for. Salvation isn't about what we do; it's about what Jesus did. All the lists in the world won't matter when He comes back for us. Unless the things on your list are done with him and because of him ... they can wait. Jesus wants to walk with us, help us find rest every now and then, and most of all, be first on the list of things to do. Any other order means we'll lose our balance and all the lists in the world won't matter!

Website: TeresaKindred.com

The Best Gifts

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 00:00:00 -0600

So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content (1 Timothy 6:8).

Long ago, the Beatles sang "money can't buy me love." If you hang out at the mall in December, it's easy to forget that money and buying things isn't what the holiday season is really supposed to be about. Pretty sparkling things and neatly wrapped gifts may purchase a temporary glee, but they sure can't buy you love!

If you stop and think about it, there are lots of things money simply cannot do. It can't buy one more day for someone with a terminal illness. It can't put broken families back together. It can't bring back the people we love who have died. It can't stop bombs or buy world peace. Money, and the things it can buy, is nice, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in having more that we forget to give thanks for having enough.

The best gifts are the priceless memories that you make throughout the year. You know the ones I mean, the ones you freeze inside the picture album of your mind and then take out and re-examine from time to time.

Some of my best "remember when" gifts from 2006 are ...

My granddaughter's first birthday party. Abby wore a red and white sundress and her mother put her hair up in two tiny sprouts on either side of her head. She loved the attention, the ice cream, and the gifts, and we loved loving Abby.

My annual all-girls trip with my high school and college buddies. This year we went to Cool Springs, Tennessee. It takes me a week to recover from a weekend with them, but it sure is fun!

Watching my husband pretend he's a rock star. One of his friends invited him to jam with some guys in his basement and I tagged along. I loved being a "groupie" for my husband, but next time I want to be part of the action. Maybe they'll let me be a backup singer. I'll sing very softly and Bill can turn the sound up on the keyboard. I figure if Mick Jagger and the Stones can still rock and roll, so can I!

So this year when Bill and the kids ask me what I want for Christmas, I really mean it when I say I don't want anything. I already have everything I need and more tucked away in the photo album of my mind.

Website: TeresaKindred.com

Final Destinations

kindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Stories about the tragic plane crash in Lexington, Kentucky have filled our local newspapers the last few weeks. The untimely deaths of 49 men, women, and children have taken sorrow and heartache way beyond Kentucky borders. To me, one of the saddest articles was the individual descriptions of the passengers and their intended destinations.

A mother put her 16 year old daughter on the plane and took a later flight home because the plane was full -- not knowing she would never see her daughter alive again.

A young couple who were married the day before the flight were beginning their honeymoon and looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together.

A husband surprised his wife with a trip to Aruba to celebrate her 50th birthday. They were together on the plane.

After I read about each of the passengers and then folded the newspaper in my lap, I said a prayer for their families and friends. It only took a few seconds for those families to lose a loved one when the plane crashed. They will spend the rest of their lives learning how to live without them.

My mother died in 1990 of colon cancer. My father died five years later of a heart attack. Both of them were relatively young. Mom was 51 and dad was 65 when he died. My mother's extended illness allowed us to say goodbye, but my dad's heart attack came suddenly in the middle of the night. I said goodbye to him one Sunday afternoon, and the next day my brother and I were at the funeral home, making arrangements.

I loved both my parents and I can't honestly say that having the time to say goodbye to my mother made giving her up any easier. Watching my mother die a long, slow painful death from cancer was without a doubt the most difficult experience of my life. Finding out that a loved one has died unexpectedly is a shock, but there was some small measure of comfort in knowing my father's death was quick and he didn't have to suffer.

As the years pass, I have come to several conclusions about death. One is that a person never really gets over the death of a loved one; they merely learn how to live with the loss. Two, every holiday and special event in your life will be accompanied by an ache in your heart for the person who is missing. And three, no matter how much time we have with someone we love, whether it is ten minutes, ten years, or a life time, it will never ever be enough.

I don't know how many of the people in the crash were Christians. But I do know this, if they were Christians, then their families have the hope of seeing them again. There is no greater comfort when a loved one dies than knowing that when we all get to heaven we never have to say goodbye again.

Jesus, as he was preparing his own unsuspecting followers for his death, promised them. "You have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy" (John 16:22 NLT, 1st Ed.). I hold on to that promise with all my heart!

Website: TeresaKindred.com