When we move to a new town, we recognize it will take us awhile to find our new favorite radio station, the best place to shop, and a friend we can tell our deepest secrets to. But when we’re first married, we forget that being romantic in marriage may have new challenges for us than it did when we were dating. So don’t settle for frustration, learn to tune into the new station and find that music that fills your partner's heart with joy and your relationship with new depth, passion and romance. —Phil

Help for the Romantically Impaired by Les and Leslie Parrot

    It was our one-year anniversary—June 30, 1985. Whew! A whole year of being married. And now the celebration. Just how would we commemorate this important milestone? A romantic dinner and a walk under the stars? A rosy bouquet or a box of Godiva Chocolates? Nope.

    We packed a picnic lunch with tuna fish sandwiches and Diet Pepsi and drove to Pasadena up the coast of Santa Barbara, three or so hours away. It was Les’ idea.

    Okay, I thought, this could be fun. We’ll have time to talk as we drive and we can eat our lunch on the beach. But Les, now in graduate school, had a different idea. He was one week into a stressful summer school course, taking Greek! So he brought along a taped lecture to listen to on our drive and a pack of flash cards to study for his next exam.

    So much for romance, at least on that day. I shouldn’t paint an incorrect picture; Les can be very romantic. On my birthday this year, for example, he took me to the swankiest restaurant in town and had prearranged with the maitre d’ to have a gift delivered to our table with my favorite dessert.

    Still, in our home, romance can be a hit-or-miss endeavor. Of course, I do my part. Like the time I planned a weekend get-away as a surprise for Les. That’s when I learned he doesn’t think surprises are very romantic! Or the time I thought he would enjoy going to a theater production instead of skiing with his friends. He didn’t.

    Well, if you don’t already know, we haven’t discovered the secret to romance in marriage. Maybe that makes us romantically impaired. But we have discovered that a big part of cultivating romance is learning to accept and respect each other's differences. Why?

    What is romantic to one person is not necessarily enjoyable to the other. For example, if Les has an unfinished task hanging over his head, I know to wait till he is done. Then he is fully present and ready to go out on the town. On the other hand, when I have a looming deadline over my head, Les knows I love to be surprised with a diversion. We’ve learned to respect each other’s romantic differences.

    What differences impede your romantic endeavors? Can you accept and respect those differences? What is more romantic than going on a journey with someone you thought you new and then finding he was full of mysteries you hadn’t yet unraveled that take you down roads you haven't yet traveled? Let your journey be an adventure as you ask the Lord to help you find the hidden doors into your partner’s romantic heart.

FROM GOD’S WORD
When Paul wrote to the Roman's he said, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you” (15:7) I don't know if romance is what he had in mind, but it certainly applies to us, what about you?

HEARTLIGHT(sm) Magazine is a ministry of loving Christians and the Westover Hills church of Christ.
HEARTLIGHT and the flared heart design are service marks of Heartlight, Inc.
Copyright © 1997, Heartlight, Inc., 8332 Mesa Drive, Austin, TX 78759.
Edited by Phil Ware and Paul Lee.
This excerpt is taken from the book Becoming Soul Mates by Les & Leslie Parrot. Available at bookstores or by calling 1-800-727-3480. Used by permission.
Design copyright © 1997, Heartlight, Inc., 8332 Mesa Drive, Austin, TX 78759.
May be reprinted and reused for non-commercial purposes only if copyright credits are appropriately displayed.