HEARTLIGHT® Magazine: Just for Men: "To Her Alone"

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To Her Alone
by David Smith

“Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone.” (Proverbs 5:15 TEV)
This is one of those verses of Scripture that rarely gets a fair hearing. How so? Think about it. If you are faithful to your wife, it’s easy to “skim over it” and move on to the next verse (i.e. “Hey, I’ve got that point down pat — pitch me another one.”). And if you happen to read or hear this verse and you’re not being faithful to your wife, you may want to skip over it and move on to something less “threatening” (i.e., “Well, whoever wrote that just doesn’t understand the bad situation I’m in with my old lady and . . .”) Do you see what I mean? This passage is “hard to hear” — it either gets taken for granted or is considered out-of-touch and meddling.
But that doesn’t change the fact it needs to be heard. In fact, the context in which it was written cries out to be heard. Proverbs 5 is an entire chapter “commentary” on just this one thought: “Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone.”
To those who are being faithful in body and mind it is a warning not to let your guard down. Someday a woman may enter your life who has lips to die for — and you just know she knows how to use them (vs.3). She may have an adventurous air about her that spells excitement to you (vs.6). She may even invite you over to her place (vs.8). Or more subtlety, she may often talk about what a wonderful father you would be (vs.16). You may begin to notice that she makes you very happy and you find real joy being around her (vs.19). And lets face it, you find her attractive and she has charms you can’t help but notice — again and again (vs.19,20b).
In that case, let the alarm go off in your head and “pay attention” to “wisdom and insight” (vs.1)! See her adventurous ways for what they are — careening off the road and bounding into the ditch (vs.5)! Remind yourself that she “does not realize what is happening” (vs.6). In sum, she is deceived and trying to deceive you. Don’t even go near her place (vs.8) and deliberately work at finding happiness and joy with your wife at home (vs.18-19). Develop whatever it takes to find self-control (vs.23a) and by all means, don’t do anything “stupid” (vs.23b). In other words . . .
“Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone!”
To those who may be reading this who are in the middle of an affair, whether physically or in heart, this passage is a warning to step out of harm’s way. Know that what you’re experiencing right now won’t last (vs.4a). And when it is finally over, there won’t be much of anything left except “bitterness and pain” (vs.4b). Any pleasure you’re getting out of this fling will be a distant memory in your mind and you’ll feel like you’ve been led on a “death” march (vs.5) when you realize what you’ve traded for this time.

Let the alarm go off in your head and pay attention!

And what is this time really worth? Is it worth losing the respect of your friends (vs.9a), because that’s what it will cost you. Isn’t that alone a price too high to pay? You say, “I’m being careful.” Fine, even if you are being careful, you just might lose your life (vs.9b,23)! This will hit you hard in the wallet (vs.10), but far worse, it will tear your heart out. And to torment you when you’re up to your eyeballs in disgrace, you’ll find yourself asking yourself, “Why wouldn’t I listen?”
If you won’t consider differently for your own sake, consider the innocent bystanders who are going to get nuked in this deal — your family. This won’t just split up your family, it will devastate your children (vs.16). Do you really want your children to become “strangers” to you (vs.16)? And let’s be real practical — think of the future — who will take care of you when you’re old (vs.17) if you’ve alienated your family for someone who isn’t even around anymore? There are fates worse than death!
So is it really worth it to take what you’ve given your wife to whom you’ve vowed faithfulness and give it to anyone else (vs.20a)? And if the woman you’re involved with is married, why take another man’s wife and put her home through the same hell you’re in the process of putting your own through (vs.20b)? If you really do care about her, don’t you care enough for her to leave her alone and so, let her husband and children be?
You may think you’re clever enough not to get caught, and you may be, but do you think God is blind (vs.21)? Even if you can get away with it for a while, remember “the Lord sees everything you do” (vs.21). So open your eyes and see the “trap” you’ve fallen into. Struggle to get out of the “net” you’re in (vs.22) right now. Quit talking and start listening to some good advice (vs.2) on how to live right (vs.2). Take it from someone who cares about you - this is “utter stupidity” (vs.23b). Get out of this trap, and now! Tell the other woman “goodbye” . . .
“Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone.”
Men everywhere — married and those yet to be married — need to “pay attention and listen to wisdom and insight” (vs.1). They were written from a father to his “sons” (vs.1,7), but they’re words for all of us. Whether your father ever told them to you, be advised, your Heavenly Father has. And so, these are words we need “never forget” (vs.7) . . .
“Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone.”
Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus, may You give me what I need today to be faithful to You by being faithful to my wife. May what I give her honor You. May I not bring shame or pain to others or myself, but may I bring praise to You by keeping my marriage pledge of purity. May my heart and mind be under Your control and not the control of any other, that what I do with my body might glorify You. Amen.