Lights Out

by Kelly Breece

"Turn the light off and stop playing with the switch!" I scolded my 16-month-old.

The biggest part of my afternoon had been spent saying those words to my toddler, who oblivious to the consequences, insisted on flipping the kitchen light on ... and then off ... then on ... and then off. I just knew he would burn up the light bulb with the surges of electricity, not to mention that he might fall off the step where he stood tippy-toed and hit the hard tile floor. "Okay, buddy, this is for your own good. Mommy's told you '100 times' to stop and you've ignored me. Now, you're going to your room by yourself!" I said in my sternest voice, so as to convey my authority.

I swept him off the step as he yelped with the fear of a little puppy being snatched up by the dogcatcher. As I whisked him through the house and up the stairs, he began to sob uncontrollably. He knew by my abruptness and by my tight clench on his legs that whatever was about to happen to him could not be good. We rounded the corner to his bedroom and swung open the door. It seemed different. It's amazing just how incredibly dark and cold a powder blue room with sailboats on the wall can seem at moments like these. I hoisted him over the railing of the crib as he screamed at the top of his lungs. He knew, then, what was about to happen. He was going to be left ... in his room … in the dark ... alone. "I can't do this," I told God as I closed the door on my little boy and pushed myself down the hallway. I had always prided myself on the knowledge that I would not have a problem with disciplining my children. That self-assurance was crumbling before my eyes. I never imagined that it could feel this bad. "I am his Mommy. I'm supposed to be his 'safe-haven' and his security. How can I be those things and at the same time be the one who leaves him alone in a dark room and walks away as if I don't care?"

I went back downstairs to the kitchen and resumed cooking dinner. I had to turn off the baby monitor because I couldn't bear to hear him cry. All the while, I prayed for God's assurance that I was handling this the right way and that He would comfort my little boy. I prayed that our son would understand soon what discipline was and that his Mommy and Daddy did it because they love him so much, and for no other reason.

When dinner preparation was done, I asked my husband if he would go to Shane's room and get him for dinner. I was so anxious to relieve him of his punishment. I hoped it would also help for him to know that we were having macaroni-n-cheese with dinner. My husband came back down the stairs empty-handed. "He's sound asleep." "You're kidding," I laughed. "All this time I've worried about how traumatic this has been for such a tiny little boy and ... he's asleep."

Once again, I realized that God, in His beautiful sufficiency, answered my heartfelt prayer. Not only did he reassure me that I was doing the right thing, but He also heard my prayer for my son's comfort and lovingly calmed my little boy right to sleep.

Oh to be as accepting of God's authority and His love as my son was of my authority and my love. I believe that we both learned that these two things can be one and the same, just as it is with our Heavenly Father.

When my little boy did wake up, I wrapped him up in my arms and kissed his face over and over. He clung to me more tightly than usual. He needed a hug from Mommy as badly as I needed one from him. "Isn't it just like God," I thought, "to illustrate to us, something as powerful as His unfailing love for us with something as simple as a kitchen light switch."

Lord God of Israel, there is no god like you in heaven above or on earth below! You keep your covenant with your people and show them your love when they live in wholehearted obedience to you. (1 Kings 8:23)

Posted: 12/11/2003
URL: http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200312/20031211_lightsout.html

(c) 2003 Kelly Breece <KellyBreece@aol.com>. From the Morning Cup <http://www.ourmorningcup.com/> Devotional, a weekly devotional for Christian women.

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