An "Un-Psalm" 23

by Lynn Anderson

    If you were to convince me that that there is no Father in Heaven and Jesus never went to the cross for me, I think I would lose my mind. I might even lose my life. And I am sure I would lose my soul! I would be a sheep without a shepherd and my 23rd un-Psalm might sound something like this:

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want:

I am a sheep without a shepherd. I do not know whom to follow --
And I am utterly in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me besides still waters

I am empty. Nothing satisfies. Nothing refreshes me. I find no real fulfillment. No lasting security. No real rest.

He restores my soul

I feel like a lost soul -- totally, irretrievably depleted.

Even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me...

I don't believe anyone walks with me in the darkest valley! And contemplation of my own mortality holds me "all my lifetime in bondage under fear of death" -- for in that final hour I will be profoundly alone!

Your rod and your staff they comfort me

I feel misguided and I find no authentic comfort in anything. None.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies

I feel unwelcome in my world, always hungry for something -- and totally overwhelmed by a thousand threatening forces.

You anoint my head with oil. My cup runs over.

My blistered head aches, with no oil of relief. My joy cup is dry all the way to the bottom. Bone dry.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life

I have given up hoping for any really quality to my life. In fact, genuine goodness and mercy have eluded me all of my days -- and I don't really expect things to change.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Oh how I ache to belong somewhere. But I don't really feel at home anywhere.... And I think I will feel lonely and homeless forever.

Posted: 05/23/2001
URL: http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200105/20010523_un-psalm.html

(C) 2001, Lynn Anderson <lynn@ont.com>, Hope Network Ministries <http://hope.faithsite.com/>. Used by permission.

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