“If if’s and but’s were candies and nuts, then we would all have a merry Christmas.” (Don Merideth, et. al.)

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. (Philippians 3:12-14 NLT)

    Ever play “what if” with your life, your marriage, or future? “What if” works great when it deals with the future, but when it deals with your past it can be down right destructive psychologically. Do you remember Tom Hank’s character in the movie Castaway? “I should have never gotten on that plane?” He had years on a deserted island for him to think about what could have been in his life and marriage.

    It can be down right destructive spiritually, also. The devil preys on our past failures. We can spend years of spiritual futility by wallowing in our “what ifs.” We don’t choose when those thoughts enter our mind, but we can choose how long we dwell on them and whether or not we believe them. Remember what the apostle Paul said, ”...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5b NIV)

    What made me think about this?

If we focus on the future, we can be prepared for what is ahead.

    I found a picture of my wife from 1974 that she had sent me after our first date. This was the last I would see of her for the next nine years. My family moved over 500 miles away after that date. I was spending some time thinking about the “what ifs” in our marriage.

    Proverbs addresses the “what ifs” beautifully: “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.” (Proverbs 4:23,25 NIV)

    If we focus on the future, we can be prepared for what is ahead. If we focus on the past, what’s behind us, we will trip-up in our marriage, life and our future. I believe God gives us our mistakes as a tool to learn. Take a look at Peter’s life as he moves from one disaster to another, until he is prepared to launch the greatest movement the world has ever known at Pentecost. But, we don’t want to live in the past. We learn our lesson and move on! The road ahead, lies ahead, not behind.

    After I refocused, I remembered a scene at the end of Castaway. Tom Hanks character stood at a crossroad in Texas with several directions to choose from. He had a chance to choose and re-shape his life and his future.

    I looked again at that picture my wife had given me as a teenager. The words penned said, “I hope and pray we stay close friends.” With God’s help my “what if” and my wife’s prayer are still coming true. What if you looked positively at the future God has planned for your marriage and your future?

 

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© 2002, Byron Ware. Used by permission.

Title: "What If?"
Author: Byron Ware
Publication Date: July 30, 2002