Marriage holds both the greatest potential for hurt and the best environment for grace. One couple I read of knows this experience very well.

    Several years ago, Christian writer Walter Wangerin went through a frightening crisis in his marriage. One evening he woke up in an empty bed. When he rushed down stairs he found his wife, Thanne, weeping on the sofa. As he reached out to her she barked, “Don’t touch me.” She had built up resentment over caring for their four small children alone while Walter blindly poured himself into his work.

    Thankfully, through the tender mercies of God, the Wangerins gradually climbed out of their pit of despair. Looking back on this crisis, they recognize the key to the healing of their marriage was learning to give and receive forgiveness.

If forgiveness stops flowing, the marriage will slowly wither and die.

    Forgiveness is like blood flowing through our bodies. If it stops flowing, the marriage will slowly wither and die.

    Has bitterness and an unforgiving spirit crept into your home? If your marriage is going to survive and grow it must be filled with the oil of confession and forgiveness. And you can’t practice this grace without the presence of Jesus in each of your lives. We’re all sinners in desperate need salvation in Jesus Christ. When we’re forgiven by Him, then we have the power to extend that forgiveness and grace to others — beginning with our spouse. Ephesians 4 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

    I pray that you and your spouse will turn to the Lord Jesus for forgiveness. And then pass on that mercy to each other. Like the Wangerins, your marriage could become a shining example of Christ’s transforming love and a marriage that will display the glory of God.

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Follow God’s example in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love for others, following the example of Christ, who loved you and gave himself as a sacrifice to take away your sins. And God was pleased, because that sacrifice was like sweet perfume to him. (Ephesians 4:32-5:2)