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 Elephant Men
by Jim McGuiggan
No eye pitied you... to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field, when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born. And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your blood, I said to you in your blood, “Live!” Yes, I said to you in your blood, “Live!” (Ezekiel 16:5-6 NKJV) I’m one of those who struggles with excess need for approval. How that has come to be doesn’t matter, but the reality of it takes lot of the perfectly legitimate contentment out of life. Those of is in this condition are tempted to try too hard or to edit ourselves and our speech in certain ways — not good ways — to gain approval and acceptance. What’s worse is that even though God accepts us completely, we are not satisfied. And that’s too bad! Having said that, it’s no crime to want the approval of people. New Covenant writers are pleased to tell us of people who had the approval and good report of those around them. (Luke 2:52; Acts 2:47; 16:2; et. al.) Paul sends brief “letters” of recommendation in the Book of Romans and formal letters of approving introduction where it made good sense to do so. (Romans 16:1-2; 1 Corinthians 16:3; 2 Corinthians 8:18-19) Still, it must be a blessed freedom to be able to enjoy approval when it comes, but live without it when it doesn’t. It must be grand to be able to resist the temptation to “sell ourselves” to get it. Peter and John would have liked the Sanhedrin’s backing, but when it didn’t come, when instead they were threatened and told to stop preaching, they did not sell out; rather they shrugged and said, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” (Acts 4:19-20; 5:29) No sale! When a serious crisis of confidence in Paul developed among the Corinthians, (1 Corinthians 9:1-3) Paul tried hard to regain their approval. But he was more than prepared to live without it, so he said, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court.” (1 Corinthians 4:3) When we read both letters to the Corinthians, we have reason to believe he would have said this with sadness and deep disappointment since he had labored so hard by God’s grace on their behalf. But he said it nevertheless! No sale! Christ told Paul he would deliver him from the Jews and the Gentiles to whom he was sending him. (Acts 26:17) That turned out to be true in more ways than one, for Paul was not bound by their opinions of him; no one counted with Paul more than his Master. The praise and approval of people can become addictive, and it takes the Spirit of God to deliver us from slavery to such a potent elixir. We need to be delivered from the people we’re sent to, or we won’t be able to help them. But I suppose we’ve all felt the alternating emotions of anger and shame that resulted from being judged by “the wise ones” — from being gazed at, assessed, pigeon-holed, and dismissed as being without accomplishment or potential or appearance. I suppose we’ve all experienced the snobbish looks that say we’re a nonentity, a “sheep in sheep’s clothing,” or “a modest little man with a lot to be modest about” (as Churchill is said to have described a fellow politician). The pain in all this goes to untold depths in vulnerable people. I know of no quick cure for my condition or for those who are like me — but I know a sure one. To be loved! To be loved unashamedly and without reservation by someone — anyone! That’s the beginning of the end of self-despising. To know we are loved! Many of us have lived long in darkness, feeling unwanted, useless, ugly, and fit only to be abused. Then into our lives comes “a significant other” who seems to care even though we are afraid to believe they do. We are afraid that if they get to know us, the warmth will dissipate and we’ll be alone again. Amazingly, the better they get to know us, the more they seem to care, and so the world turns the right way up, the sun comes out, and we come to life. Has anyone experienced this at a deeper level than John Merrick, “the Elephant Man,” who was made famous by the movie of that name? Deformed beyond description, used, and abused for years in the most hideous fashion, he was profoundly alone except for those times when with damnable cruelty people intruded into his life to gape and shove “the freak” around! A riveting piece in the movie shows the grotesque Merrick fleeing a mob through a train station. They finally corner him in a public toilet, some gaping, some laughing, some yelling insults at him as he cries out in his pain, “I am not an animal. I am not an animal! I am a human being!” And then, completely traumatized and exhausted, he sinks to the floor and wearily says, “I am a man.” Dr. Frederick Treves meets Merrick, and down below the ugliness, hidden behind the ugliness, and contrary to the testimony of the ugliness, the doctor finds a sensitive human being. Down behind the horror, Merrick begins to live again! Then comes the visit of the beautiful and acclaimed actress, Mrs. Kendall, who sees his ugliness and recognizes it, but meets it with such sensitivity and gentleness that Merrick, for the moment, rises above it. She exchanges some lines with him from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet — he reading from the book she gave him and she quoting. When the lines conclude, she smiles and, with genuine warmth and in gentle mockery, says, “Oh, Mr. Merrick, you’re not an elephant man at all.” “Oh, no?” he asks softly, afraid to agree. “You’re Romeo!” she whispers and gently kisses his supremely ugly cheek. He can hardly believe it for joy — the wonder of it all! He is overwhelmed and can scarcely believe that her beauty could meet his ugliness and in warm embrace look beyond it. But however astonishing, it had happened, and life floods into his sad soul.
David Prior called this little speech “arguably one of the best descriptions we have anywhere of the impact of the gospel on one man’s life.” (Prior’s great little book deserves to be better known. It’s called The Suffering and the Glory. See pages 109-110.) Loved by God? Can it be true? If we dare to believe that profoundly astonishing fact, shackles will dissolve, link by damning link, freeing us from ourselves and our paralyzing ugliness. We’ll be free from the scorn of our peers who know and despise us for our sinful weaknesses and who enjoy reminding others of them. We’ll be free from them because they’ve been outflanked and made powerless. We’ll be free from them because Christ comes to us, is gentle with us, and then holds us in a warm embrace saying, “Oh, YOU’re not an ‘elephant man’ at all!” And then we, scarcely able to believe, tremblingly say, “Oh, no? I always thought I was, and with the ugliness I know is in me, I feel as though I am. Are you sure I’m not?” He whispers back, “I’m sure! You’re my beautiful child!” Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is the love of God. (Romans 5:5) And where the love of God is, we are able to come to ourselves. (Luke 15:17) We’re able to look at the Christ — out from behind our fears, pains, and ugliness — and say, “I am happy every hour of the day. My life is full because I know I am loved. I have gained myself. I could not have said that if it were not for you.” Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom to rise in joy above an unhealthy dependence on the goodwill of others. There is freedom to say that all people “count with you, but none too much.” Blessed freedom. Blessed Spirit of Freedom!
Title: "Elephant Men" Author: Jim McGuiggan Publication Date: June 20, 2002 |
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Jim McGuiggan lives and ministers in Northern Ireland. He is the author of several books, including The God of the Towel and Jesus, Hero of Thy Soul. Jim has three grown children and six wonderful grandchildren.
