I will never, ever forget the day my wife and I brought home our first sweet baby. I insisted on working the “night shift” so she could continue her healing from surgery. I still wonder how such a tiny mass of joy could find all the energy to scream and cry unaided for hours on end in a dark and peaceful den. I am also in awe of how a living organism can go over a year without sleeping for five consecutive hours through the night. What got me thinking about all this? One word, “Commitment.”

    So, let me ask you: What do you think of when you hear the word “commitment”? Do you think of an overloaded schedule, an extra job that needs doing, a ball and chain, a screaming baby? Does the word commitment mean something negative?

    I recently read a great web article by Jan Gordon on The Top 10 Truths About Commitment and its helped change the perspective I have on commitment.

    Jan has a great definition for commitment: “Commitment is the connection between our values, intentions and our actions.” I have a friend that believes you should use the word love in place of value. So to paraphrase Jan, “Commitment is a bond between what we ‘love,’ what we plan, and what we actually do.”

    This definition — stressing the connection between what we love, what we plan, and what we do — fits pretty well in the context of marriage, doesn’t it? It strongly points at our need for follow-through and personal responsibility in our relationships. That is a lot easier to talk about, or sing about, than it is to actually do. We remember that Peter said he was committed to Jesus to death. We also know that he had significant a follow-through problem. (Matthew 26:33-35, 75) What about our follow-through in marriage and in the way we know should love each other?

“Commitment is a bond between what we ‘love,’ what we plan, and what we actually do.”

    Ms. Gordon goes on to describe commitment as persistence, purposeful-involving choice, and surrender. That sounds like the definition of Christ and what he did for us. The Bible tells us to submit to each other out of reverence to Christ who gave himself for us. (Ephesians 5:21). Then he goes on and emphasizes how both husband and wives are to do this in their marriage relationships following Christ’s example and honoring him with their actions, even if it means giving up their stubborn will or their very lives. That is commitment!

    There are times in our life when our actions, not words or intentions, really define who we are and what we are made of. You can see a lot of that in America right now. The question I have is, can you see a lot of that same commitment in Christian marriages right now? Can you see it in your marriage right now? Can you see it in yourself?

    If not, let’s re-prioritize what we value/love and persistently, and sacrificially, follow-up our choices with action. In the long run, that commitment is often rewarded with either a deepened relationship or proven personal character. I was committed to that screaming baby; now I can brag about the accomplishments, beauty, and grade point of a high school sophomore.

    Don’t throw in the towel just yet! Strengthen that commitment muscle and let God work on you and the one you love!

© 2001, Byron Ware. Used by permission.

Title: "The Commitment Connection"
Author: Byron Ware
Publication Date: November 2, 2001

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