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    This week my wife and I will celebrate our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. We are trying to grasp the fact that we have actually been married twenty-five years. In some ways it seems like only a few weeks ago that we were making our way to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for our honeymoon as a starry-eyed young couple launching off into our new life together. Now, we look back and are amazed at where we have been, who we have become, and how God has walked with us every step of the way. We have combined our thoughts and share some things that we have learned in our twenty-five years of marriage.

    There is no other human relationship more important than the relationship between you and your mate. There are times when necessity puts other people or other things ahead of it, but you must return this one relationship above all others. Work is important. Children are important. Parents are important. But, you and your mate must keep your relationship at the top of the priority list, or all other relationships will ultimately suffer.

    Friends are very important. I know I just said, “There is no other human relationship more important than the relationship between you and your mate.” That is true. But as years pass the friends you make, and maintain, will share your growth, will support you in times of confusion and loss, will grow with you, will know you as you really are, and will stick with you when you feel that you do not deserve a friend. Twenty-five years from where we began I cannot imagine our marriage without the friends that have been with us from the beginning, and friends that have only recently come into our world. Friends are very important.

We look back and are amazed at where we have been, who we have become, and how God has walked with us every step of the way.

    Never lose the romance in your marriage. Being busy is no excuse. Being tired is no excuse. Being angry is no excuse. Finances are no excuse. There is no excuse for allowing the romance to leave your relationship. Sure the nature of romance changes as you grow older and wiser, but do not allow the romance to leave your relationship. Sometimes you need to splurge and get a bit extravagant as you express you love for each other.

    Accept the fact that some things cannot be fixed. No matter how hard we try, or how much we wish we could, some things cannot be fixed. All we can do is be there with and for each other, and continue to love each other.

    Sometimes I get my way. Sometimes she gets her way. Sometimes we both get our way. Sometimes neither of us gets our way. It is always best when He gets His way.

    Be willing to apologize. When you mess up, when you hurt your mate, when you are wrong, and sometimes when things are just not right, saying I’m sorry can help to bring about healing.

    Remember to make time for each other. It may be only a few minutes a day, or three or four days all alone with no distractions. Sometimes you may talk. Sometimes you may walk. Sometimes you may simply sit in silence when no words at all. But, there is simply no substitute for unstressed, unrushed, uninterrupted time alone with your mate. Use the time to regroup, reconnect, recommit, or reacquaint, but make the time.

    Finally, never give up! No matter how sad you are. No matter how difficult the road ahead appears to be. No matter how much everything in you is telling you to quit. Never give up. God invariably reveals His wisdom after the struggle, not before or during. Never give up.

Enjoy your journey together,

Tom